Deeply explore the nature, influence and coping methods of shame, help you understand this complex emotion and establish a healthy mental state. Let’s learn together how to live in harmony with shame and turn it into growth drivers.
Each of us has experienced those embarrassing moments: when parents share their childhood embarrassing things outside, they want to stop them immediately, and when they are criticized by teachers in public, they want to have a crack on the ground, or they dare not express their thoughts in public. These experiences are all related to a complex emotion - a sense of shame.
The essence and definition of shame
According to the American Psychological Association (APA), shame is an unpleasant self-aware emotion. This emotion can not only lead to evasion, but can also trigger defensive and retaliatory anger. In the professional research provided by PsycTest Quiz official website (www.psychtest.cn), it is pointed out that shame often has a profound impact on individuals' mental health.
This emotion has many forms:
- Avoid mentioning or denying one's own 'embarrassing things'
- Overdefensive reaction when criticized
- Negative evaluation of oneself
- Loss of mobility and self-worth
The trigger mechanism of shame
Research by German psychologist Annette Kämmerer shows that shame often arises when we think we are violating social norms. This feeling may make people:
- Feel ashamed
- Don't dare to make eye contact with others
- Have the urge to 'disappear'
- Feeling lost all power
It is worth noting that shame is not limited to the actual events, but often it comes from our imagination.
The duality of shame
Although shame is often seen as a negative emotion, it actually has important social functions. The 'shame' in 'propriety, righteousness, integrity and shame' advocated by the ancients emphasizes the positive role of this emotion. Moderate sense of shame can:
- Promote compliance with social norms
- Promote personal growth
- Maintain social order
Want to know how much shame you feel? You might as well try this shame self-measurement table , or test your shame sensitivity . At the same time, it is also recommended that you complete this professional guilt and shame tendency test .
Establish a healthy view of shame
Psychologist Daniel Goleman stressed that moderate shame is normal and necessary. But if a strong sense of shame develops in the face of any criticism or small failure, it may have developed into pathological shame.
How to live in harmony with shame
Remember these important facts:
- No one is born a shame
- Making mistakes does not mean permanent taint
- Other people's judgments cannot define your value
The most important thing is to realize that feeling shame is a human nature, and the key is how we choose to face this emotion and turn it into a driving force for personal growth.
Conclusion
Shame is a double-edged sword: excessive shame can damage self-confidence, while no shame can lead to moral depravity. Only by finding a moderate balance and learning to live in harmony with this emotion can we help us maintain a healthy psychological state in life and achieve better self-growth.
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