An in-depth exploration of the nature, impact and coping methods of shame will help you understand this complex emotion and establish a healthy psychological state. Let’s learn together how to live in harmony with shame and turn it into motivation for growth.
Each of us has experienced those embarrassing moments: wanting to stop our parents immediately when sharing their childhood embarrassing stories, wishing we could crawl through a crack in the ground when being criticized in public by a teacher, or not daring to express our thoughts in public. These experiences are all associated with a complex emotion—shame.
The nature and definition of shame
According to the American Psychological Association (APA), shame is an unpleasant self-conscious emotion. Not only can this emotion lead to avoidance behavior, but it can also trigger defensive and retaliatory anger. Professional research provided by PsycTest official website (www.psyctest.cn) points out that shame often has a profound impact on an individual’s mental health.
This emotion can take many forms:
- Avoid mentioning or denying your ’embarrassing things'
- Reacting excessively defensively when criticized
- Negative evaluation of self
- Loss of mobility and sense of self-worth
Shame triggering mechanism
Research by German psychologist Annette Kämmerer shows that shame often occurs when we believe we have violated social norms. This feeling may make people:
- Feeling ashamed
-Afraid to make eye contact with others - The urge to ‘disappear’
- Feeling like losing all strength
It is worth noting that shame is not limited to actual events, many times it comes from our imagination.
The two sides of shame
Although shame is often viewed as a negative emotion, it actually serves important social functions. The ‘shame’ in ‘propriety, justice, integrity and shame’ advocated by the ancients emphasizes the positive role of this emotion. A moderate amount of shame can:
- Promote compliance with social norms
- Promote personal growth
- Maintain social order
Want to know your level of shame? Try this shame self-assessment scale , or test your shame sensitivity . It is also recommended that you complete this professional guilt and shame proneness test .
Establish a healthy view of shame
Psychologist Daniel Goleman emphasizes that a moderate amount of shame is normal and necessary. But if you feel a strong sense of shame in response to any criticism or small failure, you may have developed pathological shame.
How to live in harmony with shame
Remember these important facts:
- No one is born a shame
- Making mistakes does not mean eternal stain
- The judgments of others do not define your worth.
The most important thing to realize is that feeling shame is human, the key lies in how we choose to face this emotion and turn it into motivation for personal growth.
Conclusion
Shame is a double-edged sword: excessive shame can undermine self-confidence, while a complete lack of shame can lead to moral decay. Finding the right balance and learning to live in harmony with this emotion can help us maintain a healthy mental state in life and achieve better self-growth.
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