Lack of love is a psychological state that refers to a person who does not receive enough love and attention while growing up, resulting in a low sense of self-worth and a lack of trust and security in himself and others. People who lack love often show the following characteristics:
- Having a low sense of self-worth, caring too much about other people’s evaluation of themselves, and eager for others’ approval, so they subconsciously try to please others. This kind of person will be too sensitive and dare not disagree with others. They are extremely eager to be recognized and care too much about whether others agree. They are easily emotional and cannot help but please others.
- Easily overcompensates for oneself. This kind of person will start a relationship because others are good to them. When they have a lover, they want to stick to each other 24 hours a day. They like to ask their partners ‘do they love me’ and ‘how much do they love me’. They take love very seriously, even if If you feel it is inappropriate, you will choose to put it off day by day, struggling desperately with a sense of luck. They easily fall in love with older people of the opposite sex and rely too much on the sense of stability and security provided by their other half, but their other half usually feels tired. If you fall out of love, you often choose to start a new relationship to save your mood. They like the feeling of being surrounded by ’love’ so tightly that they become intoxicated and lose their judgment. It is very easy for them to meet a scumbag man or a scumbag girl.
-Desperately trying to prove myself. This kind of person works hard, trying to prove that he is worthy of love through work or income. Once you are idle, you will feel that you have no value and are not worthy of being liked. Even if I make money, I dare not spend it because I feel insecure. I always want to prove that I am worthy of being loved, so when someone sees something, I hope that I can do it as perfectly as possible. - I like to express myself through presence. Such people do all the extra hard work at work just because they want to hear praise from others. As soon as the boss said, ‘You have the best work attitude in the company,’ he would work overtime as hard as he could. When drinking, he obviously can’t drink, but he still pretends to be able to pour wine, toast this and that, and behave extremely lively.
- Very controlling and very painful when things don’t go as expected. Because such people lack love, they are filled with fear and uneasiness, which slowly evolve into a strong desire for control. Whenever there is an unexpected task at work, I feel nervous and bored for no reason. I am afraid that if I do not do well, my boss will be unhappy if I do not do well. If my boss is unhappy, I will… the more I think about it, the more I will think about it. Often for no apparent reason, he would use ‘It’s over, it’s over’ as his mantra, his brows would be furrowed, and the lines between his eyebrows would often be a little deeper than those of his peers. I will always inadvertently think of the unsatisfactory things I have done recently. Each thing is like a cane whipping my heart. Every time I am whipped, I curse myself for being stupid. I couldn’t help crying as I thought about it, and every tear I shed was filled with hatred for myself.
- Looks at problems very negatively, has poor ability to resist setbacks, and is prone to mental collapse. This kind of person will start to doubt himself as soon as there is any sign that things are not developing as expected. The more you doubt yourself, the more you are afraid of making mistakes. The more you are afraid of making mistakes, the easier it is to make mistakes. If you make a mistake, you will start to resent yourself more. So I thought of escaping, and thought that my parents had never praised me, so I became more convinced that I was not good at it, and I was even less willing to try.
People who lack love actually lack love for themselves. Instead of establishing a healthy self-awareness and self-evaluation, they place their value on the eyes and feedback of others. Instead of learning how to live and think independently, they rely on others for company and comfort. Instead of discovering their own interests and potential, they busy themselves and sacrifice to prove themselves.
How do people who lack love get out of the shadows? It’s actually not difficult, as long as you do the following:
-Learn to accept yourself. Everyone has strengths and weaknesses, successes and failures, joys and pains. These are all part of life, don’t deny your value just because you are not perfect. Learn to appreciate your strengths, improve your shortcomings, accept your past, and look forward to your future. Believe that you are a unique and valuable existence and do not need the approval and approval of others to feel happy and satisfied.
- Learn to love yourself. People who lack love often neglect caring and caring for themselves, and only focus on catering and pleasing others. Doing so will only make you more tired and empty. Learn to give yourself some time and space, and do things that make you happy and relaxed, such as listening to music, watching movies, exercising, traveling, etc. Learn to give yourself some rewards and encouragement, such as buying a piece of clothing you like, eating a delicious meal, saying ‘You are great’, etc. Learn to give yourself some warmth and comfort, such as hugging yourself, smiling in the mirror, writing a letter to the future, etc.
- Learn to communicate with yourself. People who lack love often hide their thoughts and feelings in their hearts and dare not express them, or express them in the wrong way. Doing so will only make you more lonely and depressed. Learn to express your needs and emotions in the correct way, such as ‘I hope you can…’, ‘I feel very…’ etc. Learn to listen to other people’s opinions and feedback, such as ‘What do you think?’, ‘Do you have any suggestions?’, etc. Learn to understand other people’s positions and feelings, such as ‘You may feel…’, ‘You must be very…’ etc.
- Or have excessive dependence and control on others. Doing so will only make yourself more stressed and miserable. You must learn to let go of your own baggage and shackles, such as ‘I am not perfect, I can make mistakes’, ‘I am not useless, I can contribute’, ‘I am not lonely, I can have friends’, etc. Learn to relax your body and mind, such as ‘I can take a break and don’t have to work all the time’, ‘I can enjoy it and don’t have to save all the time’, ‘I can try it and don’t have to be afraid all the time’, etc. Learn to let go of your lovers and friends, for example, ‘I can trust him (her) without having to monitor him (her) all the time’, ‘I can respect him (her) without having to interfere all the time’, ‘I can give him (her) space without having to constantly interfere’ Always stuck” etc.
There is no perfect native family. Don’t think that lack of love means you should be unhappy. Don’t label yourself as ’lack of love’ and don’t fall into ‘self-validation theory.’ When emotions come, try to talk to your past self, embrace your small self, and feel your own growth and progress. This will help you calm down faster. Psychological self-nurturing does not require ‘becoming a better self’, but only requires ‘becoming a better self’. Take a closer look at yourself and see the fullness and sparkle of your abilities. This kind of positive feedback helps make you feel that you are important and worthy of love. Learn to make yourself happy, do what you like, and look at the world from a positive perspective.
People who lack love are actually people who long for love. They need to start with themselves and give themselves more love and care before they can truly feel the love and care of others. They need to start from themselves and establish a healthy self-image and self-confidence in order to truly show their charm and value. They need to start with themselves and develop a positive attitude towards life and an optimistic mood in order to truly have a happy life.
People who lack love, please remember this sentence: Loving yourself is the best place to start.
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