The Satya communication model provides a powerful tool for understanding interpersonal relationships, helping people recognize their communication styles and others, and improve relationships through consistent communication. This article will introduce in detail five communication attitudes, including the characteristics and implementation methods of consistent communication, and how to apply them in real life.
Overview of Satya Communication Model
The Satya communication model is a theory proposed by the famous psychologist Virginia Satir, which aims to help people identify and improve communication methods in interpersonal communication. This model reveals five basic communication postures by observing individual responses in stress or conflict situations, including **pple-favored, accusing, super-rational, interrupted and consistent. Among them, the first 4 communication methods are considered unhealthy and inconsistent because they usually conceal or distort an individual’s true emotions. Consistent communication is considered the most ideal communication method, which can help individuals stay sincere when expressing themselves, while also taking into account the feelings and situations of others. The Satya model believes that communication skills directly affect a person’s interpersonal relationships and quality of life. Therefore, improving communication methods is an important way to achieve personal growth and establish healthy relationships.
Understanding and mastering Satya communication patterns can help individuals better identify their own patterns in communication and learn how to transform into consistent communication, thereby reducing conflicts, improving understanding and intimacy. You can better understand your communication type through the Satir Communication Stance Scale (SCS) online test , and you can also perform self-assessment through the Satir Communication Type Test-Chinese version .
‘Inconsistent’ communication posture
The following is a detailed description of four ‘inconsistent’ communication postures in Satya’s communication model:
1. Placate type
People who are pleased to communicate are mainly characterized by catering and concessions. They tend to please others and put their feelings and needs behind them. To avoid conflict, they often sacrifice their own interests. They often apologize, obey, betray themselves, be too kind, rely on, beg for forgiveness, and say in words, ‘It’s all my fault’, ‘I didn’t do it well’, ‘I just want to make you happy’, etc.
Deep down, pleasers feel that they are not important and not worthy of being loved. They hide their suppressed anger and often feel hurt, anxious and dissatisfied. Long-term flattery behaviors may lead to neuroticism, depression, and even suicidal tendencies. In addition, digestive tract problems, headaches, etc. may occur in the body.
In Chinese culture, some people may show favorable behaviors out of considering relationships rather than low self-esteem, which is different from the fact that flattering favor directly equates low self-esteem in Western culture.
2. Blamer
People with accusation communication are the opposite of flattering people who are accustomed to attack, criticism and anger. They tend to protect themselves by placing the blame on others or the environment. They often accuse, command, criticize, and intimidate others, and often say in words that ‘it’s all your fault’, ‘what you did it’, ‘you will never understand’, etc.
People with accusations have sadness hidden inside, but they are unwilling to admit their weakness. They feel lonely, frustrated, untrusted, and afraid of losing control. Accuse people are prone to anger, agitation, and cause violent behavior. There may be problems such as muscle tension and high blood pressure on the body.
In Eastern culture, accusations may be influenced by patriarchy and values that focus on face, and are divided into authoritarian accusations and **protective accusations.
3. Super-Reasonable
People who communicate with super rationally like to reason and pay attention to logic and rules. They tend to escape topics related to personal or emotional, acting indifferent and sensible. They like to use words such as ‘but’ and ‘if’ to perform logical analysis, avoiding their own feelings, and often say ‘people must be rational’ and ‘sensibility is bad.’
Super rational people are afraid of losing control, hiding their emotional and emotional needs, and feeling empty and isolated in their hearts. They may have problems such as forced psychological and social withdrawal. Endocrine diseases, cancer and other problems may occur in the body.
In Chinese culture, people who love face may improve their personal evaluation by proving themselves, or they may form super rational communication methods.
4. Distractor
People with interrupted communication are unstable and like to interrupt, interrupt, and change the topic. They try to pull their attention away from stressful topics. They usually do not answer questions directly, or they are not right at all, often use humor to resolve embarrassment and try to do multiple things at the same time.
They often feel that they cannot find their place, their hearts are empty and fragile, and they feel that they are not cared about and have no sense of belonging. People with interrupted types are prone to confusion and depression, and may experience neurological symptoms and dizziness in their bodies.
Chinese may use tactful communication methods to make things slow and smooth. This is not a manifestation of low self-esteem, but a cultural habit.
The root of inconsistent communication
Inconsistent communication postures often stem from early family experience. Growing up, we may learn some unhealthy ways of coping, such as gaining love and recognition through compliments, or protecting ourselves through criticism. These patterns are activated when facing stress, making it difficult for us to express our true feelings.
Each communication posture has its advantages: accusing people are confident, flattering people are kind, super rational people are rational, and interrupting people are flexible. However, the limitation of these postures is that none of them can express themselves truly and make healthy connections.
**How to change inconsistent communication patterns? **
Changing inconsistent communication patterns requires self-awareness and continuous practice. We need to recognize that our communication patterns are a reflection of past experiences and consciously choose healthier ways of coping. This includes:
- Identify your own communication patterns.
- Pay attention to your feelings and needs.
- Learn to express your true thoughts.
- Try to understand how others feel.
- Take into account yourself, others and situations in communication.
What is Congruent Communication (Congruent)
Consistent communication refers to the expression and consistency of words, acknowledging all your emotions, being able to express your thoughts well, taking into account other people’s feelings, and taking into account the situation. Consistent people will express their thoughts and feelings directly and listen to others’ opinions. For example, ‘I accidentally hit you. I’m very sorry, you hurt here, right?’ or ‘Thank you for paying attention to my dressing, but when you say this, I’m a little unhappy. What’s wrong with it Is it?”
People who communicate consistently have high self-esteem, harmonious hearts, able to accept their feelings and deal with them with a positive and open attitude. Consistent communication makes people feel trusted and people are willing to open up to you. This communication method can promote the harmonious flow of relationships.
Consistent communication may be reflected in the fact that we can both express our own opinions and take into account the needs of others; it may also be reflected in the fact that we look beyond our own self-reliance and fulfill our obligations in interpersonal interactions.
The level of consistent communication
There are three levels of consistency communication:
- **Accept feelings: ** Aware of your feelings, understand and accept them, and be willing to process and process them without any negation or projection.
- **In-depth awareness: ** Understand your true desires and expectations in your heart, and take full responsibility for this desire, and give up unsatisfied expectations of others.
- **Unity of body and mind: ** Maintain harmony and consistency with the universal vitality, that is, ‘harmony between man and nature, conform to nature.’
How to achieve consistent communication
To achieve consistent communication, the following points are needed:
- **Aware of your emotions, ** Objectively express what you hear and see, and express your expectations and hopes.
- Try not to blame, not please, not be super rational, not interrupt when speaking**.
- **Recognize the limitations of yourself and others, ** Accept the imperfections of yourself and others.
- **Try to connect with the other party’s “iceberg” and understand the feelings, opinions, expectations and desires behind the behavior.
- Use ‘Ten Curious Questions’ to deal with problem situations and promote communication depth, such as: When did it start? What’s wrong? What happened? What’s the reason?
- **When you need to explain guidance, try to use the ‘I communicate’ method, ** Focus on talking about your own feelings and the impact of the other party’s behavior on you.
**Answer the question directly, ** instead of asking back “Why do you want to know this?”.
**Propose your own specific needs, rather than give lengthy reasons.
**Make honest choices, not to cater to others.
**Aware of, test the comments, thoughts and behaviors you are exposed to, and not judge with preconceived ideas.
Keep questions and open-minded about life instead of pretending that you have the answers.
**Follow your intuition and wisdom and consider these fully when making decisions. - **When in contact with others, concentrate and be aware of your own and others’ physical messages, such as breathing, muscles, expressions, etc.
- **Aware of your own and others’ defenses, ** For example, accusing person tries to put down his “fiddle of your own criticism” and look at the other person’s views and feelings with curiosity and concern; a flattering person first pays attention to his own feelings and says Develop real feelings; super rational people should pay more attention and use other senses to listen, see, and feel; interrupted people should learn to observe the situation they are in and live in the present.
“5A Spiritual Journey”
‘5A Spiritual Journey’ is very helpful when it comes to practical consistency communication, including:
- **Aware: **Aware of your own physical reactions and emotional changes.
- **Admit: **Acknowledge your emotions and do not blame others.
- **Accept: ** Accept yourself will be nervous, angry, and fearful.
- **Action: ** See what you can do to make your body more comfortable and your mood calmer.
- **Acknowledgement: ** Appreciate everything you do.
Summarize
Satya’s communication model provides a powerful framework for us to understand interpersonal relationships. By recognizing our own communication patterns and working toward consistent communication, we can build healthier and more harmonious relationships. Consistent communication is not only a skill, but also a life attitude. It requires us to focus on ourselves, others and situations at the same time and communicate with truth, openness and respect.
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