The role of women in the family has long surpassed the traditional motherhood and gradually evolved into a kind of free and endless ‘invisible slavery’. In this process, many women find themselves swallowed up by family needs, their husbands are absent and their sons are dependent, as if the whole family’s operation is on their shoulders. This unbalanced gender division not only aggravates the psychological pressure of women, but also makes them lose more opportunities for self-realization in society. This article will explore the gender dilemma of mothers in the family, revealing why women are often forced to assume additional responsibilities after becoming mothers and even become ‘invisible slaves’ in the family. At the same time, we will also discuss possible solutions to help women strive for a fairer division of family labor and social support.
Mother’s Invisible Shackles: A Woman Consumed by Family
In many families, mothers bear responsibilities beyond imagination. From daily housework to children’s education, from emotional support to family planning, mothers take almost everything. However, this image of ‘all-round giving’ is not innate, but a product of a long-standing imbalance in gender division of labor. In contrast, many husbands are absent from the family for a long time, while their sons grow up under the care of their mothers, but often inherit their dependence on women’s labor, which ultimately leads to their mother becoming an ‘invisible slave’ to the family.
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Why do women become ‘invisible slaves’ in the role of mother?
1. Husband’s absence: Gender inequality in family responsibilities
Traditionally, men’s main responsibility is to make money to support their families, while women are responsible for family management. This has led to many men still regard themselves as ’economic contributors’ after marriage, while women passively become the primary caregivers of the family. This model directly leads to overloading mothers in the family, while husbands are much less involved in family responsibilities than women. Even in dual-working families, women still undertake more parenting and housework, while male family participation is often beautified as ’extra help.’
2. Son’s dependence: How can the next generation continue the mother’s labor exploitation?
Mothers are fully committed to their children. They are not only responsible for physical care, but also responsible for their children’s emotional and psychological support. However, in many families, mothers tend to take care of their sons more carefully, and even as their children become adults, they still bear ‘invisible labor’, such as helping them organize their rooms, arrange their lives, and even deal with social relationships. This long-term care model has made many sons develop a dependence on female labor during their growth, and future wives are likely to become new ‘mothers’ and continue to assume this free care role.
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3. Invisible exploitation of housework: Why is the mother’s unpaid effort taken as “for granted”?
A mother not only has to complete visible housework (such as cooking, cleaning, and washing clothes), but also has to undertake a lot of ‘psychological housework’ - such as planning family expenses, remembering children’s course arrangements, reminding her husband to complete family tasks, etc. This psychological burden is often unquantifiable and therefore is more likely to be overlooked. It is generally believed that women should bear these responsibilities innately, making mother’s labor ’taken for granted’ and even considered as ’the embodiment of love’, thus concealing the gratuitous nature of female labor.
Psychological pressure of mothers: How do they be “abuse” by gender in their families?
1. Endless mental consumption
The mother not only undertakes physical housework, but also always pays attention to the emotions and needs of family members. They act as ‘managers’ of their families, and they must arrange various daily trivial matters, and even foresee and solve possible problems. This invisible mental burden makes it difficult for them to truly enjoy their time and be in anxiety and exhaustion for a long time.
2. Neglected individual needs
Many mothers gradually lose themselves in their family life, and their personal interests, social and professional development are replaced by family responsibilities. Their sacrifices are often not seen by their families and are even considered ’taken for granted’. When mothers try to express their fatigue and dissatisfaction, they are often misunderstood by their family and are even accused of being ‘pretentious’ or ’not loving their homes enough’.
3. Marriage satisfaction decreases
Research shows that unequal division of labor between housework and parenting will directly affect the relationship between husband and wife. During long-term family work, mothers are prone to feel dissatisfied with their husband’s absence. This dissatisfaction accumulates to a certain extent, which often affects the quality of the marriage and even leads to the breakdown of the relationship.
How to break the mother’s ‘invisible slave’ dilemma?
1. Change the gender division of labor within the family
Family responsibilities should not be the obligation of one party, but should be jointly borne by the husband and wife. Men need to take the initiative to participate in housework and parenting, rather than waiting for their wife to assign tasks. Couples can ensure that the contributions of both parties are balanced in the family by clarifying their division of responsibilities.
2. Cultivate your son’s sense of family responsibility
Boys should be involved in housework from an early age, rather than defaulting that these tasks are undertaken by the mother or sister. Educate your son to understand the value of women’s labor and let them learn to respect women’s efforts as they grow up.
3. Support of social policy
In Nordic countries, such as Sweden and Norway, male parental leave policies are widely implemented, making it easier for men to participate in their children’s growth. This not only reduces the burden on the mother, but also allows the father to truly assume family responsibilities. Similar policies should be promoted in other countries.
4. Mothers should learn to refuse and care for themselves
Women need to learn to express their needs and not let themselves be exhausted from family responsibilities. Appropriately dividing personal time and communicating your own boundaries with your family can help your mother find a better balance between family and personal life.
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Conclusion
The mother’s identity as an ‘invisible slave’ is not born, but the result of long-term unfair gender division of labor. If we want to change this situation, we need to start from multiple aspects such as social culture, family structure, policies and systems to truly achieve gender equality in the family. The husband should not be absent, the son should not be dependent, and the woman should not be consumed by the family in the role of the mother. Only when housework and parenting responsibilities are truly allocated reasonably can mothers truly get rid of the dilemma of ‘invisible slaves’ and have their own life.
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