Have you ever experienced such a scene: chatting with your favorite person late at night, sharing all the secrets, but always being labeled as a 'good friend'? In psychology, this state of 'better friendship, less than the lover' is called the 'emotional friendship zone', and its essence is that 'personal expression misalignment' is at work - your way of showing goodwill may be misread by the other party's personality pattern, such as the enthusiasm of the extrovert is regarded as pressure by the introvert, and the analysis of the rational is regarded as indifferent by the emotional. According to the survey, 63% of single young people have fallen into the dilemma of their friends, and 72% of them ultimately missed their marriage because they did not understand the differences in personality strategies.
Six major MBTI personality traits breaking strategies: unlocking heart movements with personality passwords
If you don’t know what type of MBTI personality is yet, you can first take the MBTI Type 16 personality test (free) provided by PsycTest Quiz to confirm your personality traits so that you can read this article better.
1. Extroverted (E): bold show of goodwill ≠ force the palace in public
The instinct of extroverts is to express their feelings with enthusiastic actions, such as planning surprise parties or sending flowers at high profile, but this 'stage confession' can easily make introverted friends feel embarrassed.
Correct posture : Choose the 'semi-public + private buffering' scenario, such as after a small-scale party, ask the other party to have a cup of coffee alone, and say in a relaxed tone: 'Actually, every time I get along with you, I have a little bit of my heartbeat.'
If you have an ENFJ social personality , you can click on the ENFJ personality love guide to learn how to use empathy to soften the tension of confession. More interpretations of ENFJ emotional cases
2. Introverted (I): Don't let the diary be the only love letter
Introverts are used to stage 'love theater' in their hearts, but are ashamed to speak. 68% of introverts have hinted at their feelings through 'over-paying', such as silently helping the other party solve problems, but they were misread as 'good old man'.
The key to breaking the deadlock : Use the 'low-pressure gradual method' - first express your feelings through words (such as posting a sentimental lyrics), observe the other party's reaction, and then make an in-depth offline dialogue: 'I have something that has been entangled for a long time, and I want to hear your true thoughts.'
INTP logical personality often suppresses emotions due to rationality. Click the INTP emotional expression guide to unlock the balanced speech of 'rational + sensibility'. More analysis of INTP love misunderstandings
3. Intuitive (N): Don't let your brains take action first
Intuitive personality is good at building a 'blueprint for future partners' in your mind. You may start planning wedding details just when you have a good impression. This 'advanced imagination' will lead to rushing to achieve success when interacting in reality.
Adjustment strategy : Use the 'reality anchoring method' - after each fantasy, immediately do a specific thing to get closer, such as asking the other party to experience your imagined common hobbies ('I heard that you also want to learn ceramics, do you want to try it together?').
INFJ's utopian personality is easily trapped in the 'emotional filter'. Click on the detailed interpretation of INFJ personality , and learn to transform imagination into action. More cases of INFJ single-out
4. Observation type (S): Don't use 'take it for granted' to 'no feeling'
Observational personality is often confused: 'I remember all his preferences, why is it still not progressing?' This type of person is used to showing kindness with specific actions (such as silently solving problems), but ignores the need for 'language confirmation'.
Practical skills : adopt the 'behavior + language' dual-track system - handwritten cards are included when giving gifts: 'I know you like this cake, but I actually want to have a breakfast with you.'
ESTJ's pragmatic personality is prone to lose the framework due to 'over-paying'. Click the ESTJ's emotional boundary guide to learn the balance technique of '60% giving + 40% self'. More ESTJ's Love Rules
5. Thinking type (T): Let go of logic and pick up the emotional dictionary
A thinking personality may create a '10 reasons to be a lover' PPT, and this 'rational persuasion' is often counterproductive in love.
Counterattack plan : Conduct 'emotional naming training' - set reminders with your mobile phone 5 times a day, and record your current feelings each time (such as 'I feel a little lost when I see him chatting with others'), and gradually learn to communicate in emotional language: 'Actually, I am afraid of losing my current relationship, but I am even more afraid that I will regret not speaking out.'
ISTJ's rigorous personality often misses opportunities due to 'over-analysis'. Click on ISTJ's emotional breakthrough class to unlock the '3-second impulse confession method'. More ISTJ love counterattack stories
6. Emotional Type (F): Don’t let the emotional tsunami break down the relationship
Emotional personality is prone to falling into 'inner drama explosion' in the friend area: the other party responds to messages late = does not love me, likes other people's dynamics = has new goals.
Adjustment method : Try '54321 grounding pressure reduction method'-
- Say 5 things you can see in front of you (such as 'green plants by the window, coffee cup')
- Say 4 kinds of sounds you hear (such as 'air conditioner wind, far-reaching traffic')
- Talk about three textures that can be touched (such as 'the softness of the sweater and the coldness of the desktop')
- Talk about 2 smells (such as 'coffee fragrance, air freshener')
- Talk about a taste (such as 'the mint flavor left in the mouth')
After calming down quickly through the five senses anchor, I used 'my message' to express: 'I didn't wait for the reply just now, I was a little worried if I was not doing well.'
ESFP sensory personality is prone to lose oneself due to “over empathy”. Click the ESFP emotional stability guide to learn the “Emotional Pause Key” user manual. More ESFP love mentality adjustments
For all people in dilemma: Friends area is the examination room for personality growth
The most charming thing about love is that it can force us to see the shadow of our personality - extroverts learn to restrain their light, introverts break through expression barriers, and rationals embrace sensory thinking. Learn to love yourself first in a new relationship.
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