'MBTI Test' Why is INFJ personality prone to a flattering personality? And how to get rid of this dilemma

Interpersonal/Social personal growth 1783

A common scenario: After a whole week of fatigue, you finally have your own quiet time, and when you were about to relax, your phone rang. A friend sent a message, his tone was calm but he had an emotional storm. You were exhausted physically and mentally, but you still replied, 'I can come to you' - you know that you actually need more is to be alone and recover.

If you are of the INFJ personality type (advocate type), then this 'sacrifice yourself and prioritize taking care of others' situation may be too familiar to you. According to the 'PsycTest Quiz official website (psychtest.cn)', more than 86% of INFJ personality admit that they often put other people's needs first, which ranks first among all 16 types of personality.

This is not due to weakness, but because INFJ is born with a high level of empathy, deep emotional insight, and an instinctive reaction to fear of hurting others' emotions. This article will take you into the deep understanding of the formation mechanism of INFJ's flattering personality and provide three effective strategies to help you gradually learn to give priority to taking care of your emotional and mental health without violating your kind nature.

Why is INFJ so easy to become a 'pleasant personality'?

Emotional radar is too sensitive to ignore the needs of others

INFJ has extremely keen intuitive and sensory functions, and can instantly capture the subtle emotions behind other people's words. This 'emotional radar' makes it difficult for you to turn a blind eye to other people's pain, even if you are physically and mentally exhausted.

INFJ's mindset is often like this:

'If I refuse, will the other party feel that I am indifferent?'
“Will our relationship be alienated because of this?”
'If I don't help, will he have no one to ask for?'

So, even if you want to say 'no', you often say 'good' against your heart.

Fear of conflict, even more afraid of losing relationships

As an introverted and emotionally oriented personality type, INFJ is very sensitive to interpersonal conflict. Instead of expressing the possible uneasiness or contradictions that are positively caused by real needs, it is better to choose to accept other people's arrangements silently. You would rather be wronged than face disappointed eyes or possible alienation.

According to our survey of MBTI personality and behavioral habits, 77% of INFJs admit that they have difficulty expressing their personal needs and are one of the types that are least good at saying “what I want to do.”

Turbulent vs. Assertive: Two different ways to please INFJs

There are also two subtypes in the INFJ personality: turbulent type (INFJ-T) and self-confidence type (INFJ-A) . These two types have significant differences in the performance of flattering personality.

85% of INFJ-T are worried about what others think of themselves;
By comparison, only 35% of INFJ-A have the same concerns.

In other words, INFJ-T lacks a sense of security and is more likely to seek recognition by meeting other people's needs; while INFJ-A is relatively more confident in expressing 'no'.

3 practical strategies to help INFJ balance 'kindness' and 'self'

Strategy 1: Put yourself in the 'consideration'

When someone asks you, INFJ's first reaction is often: 'Will this disappoint the other party?' Now, it's time to change this reflection pattern.

Next time you encounter a similar situation, ask yourself these questions:

What is my true emotions now?
Do I have the energy to deal with this?
What price will I pay for promises to this?

Giving your needs and emotions the same importance is the true balance and care. If the request is not urgent, you can use buffered expressions to gain time, for example:

'Thank you for trusting me. I want to confirm the schedule and give you a reply later.'

This not only avoids passive agreement, but also makes room for inner dialogue for yourself.

Strategy 2: Stop over-thinking and return to the present

INFJ has a strong inertia in thinking. Once you encounter interpersonal problems, you are prone to enter the 'over-rehearsal mode' - the other party's possible reactions, scene directions, and future influences are interpreted in your mind... As a result, your emotions get deeper and deeper.

Try this simple psychological reset method:

Stop and take a deep breath.
Feel the tension in the body, especially the shoulders, neck, chin and other parts.
Ask yourself two questions:
- Am I suppose some unsure results?
- Am I taking responsibility for the other party’s emotions?

Pull your attention away from 'what may happen' back to 'what I can really do now' and you will find that things are not as complicated as you think.

Strategy Three: Trust your first intuition

Your intuition as an INFJ is very powerful, and the instantaneous 'don't want to do' or 'discomfort' is actually the voice of inner wisdom. But in the past, you may have habitually ignored this feeling.

Next time someone asks you, please record your initial feelings - not the result after being rationally processed, but the instinctive reaction of 'Ah, I don't really want it.'

Respect this reaction is not selfish, but the management of your own emotional resources. You can't always have the energy to support everyone, and you deserve to keep your energy.

Recommended test: Are you a flattering personality?

If you often feel difficult to reject others and easily suppress your emotions, you might as well use the following free tests to evaluate your 'pleasant personality' tendency:

Test results can provide you with deep insight into behavior patterns and are the first step toward turning the transformation.

Learn the real you from MBTI and become a more comfortable self

Behind the pleasing personality, there is actually a cherishment of interpersonal harmony and a deep resonance for others' emotions. INFJ's tenderness and insight are precious, but when you start to learn to give this kindness to yourself, you are truly self-mature.

If you have not done an MBTI test, it is recommended that you go to the free MBTI personality test to understand your 16-type personality types and lay the foundation for your self-growth and interpersonal strategies.

In addition, you can also read our carefully compiled MBTI advanced personality profile to help you understand your performance as an INFJ in interpersonal, emotional, professional, etc., and tailor a more powerful growth route for you.

More INFJ-related content recommendations:

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