Everyone gets nervous in certain social situations. However, if you have social anxiety disorder (also called social phobia), daily activities can be extra challenging. You may be more self-conscious and fearful than others during social interactions, and may have low self-esteem.
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But don’t let fear stop you from living life to the fullest. There are several ways to deal with social anxiety disorder. Try these seven tips to help you feel better and get through the day. Also, be aware that sometimes people need to seek professional help to deal with their social anxiety.
1. Control your breathing
Anxiety can cause changes in your body that make you feel uncomfortable. For example, your breathing may become faster and shallower. This can make you more anxious. You may feel nervous, dizzy, or suffocated.
Certain techniques can help you slow down your breathing and control other symptoms of anxiety. Try the following steps:
- Sit in a comfortable position with your back straight.
- Relax your shoulders.
- Place one hand on your belly and the other on your chest.
- Breathe in slowly through your nose for 4 seconds. The hand on your abdomen will be raised, and the hand on your chest should not move too much.
- Hold your breath for 2 seconds, then slowly exhale through your mouth for 6 seconds.
- Repeat a few times until you feel relaxed.
2. Try exercise or progressive muscle relaxation
Research shows that certain physical activities, such as jogging, can help reduce anxiety. Progressive muscle relaxation can also help. This means flexing and releasing muscle groups in the body and focusing on the feeling of release.
Yoga can also help you calm down. Some types involve deep breathing, so they can help lower blood pressure and heart rate. Studies show that doing yoga for a few months can help reduce overall anxiety. In fact, just one session can improve mood and anxiety.
3. Preparation
Planning ahead for social situations that make you nervous can help you feel more confident. You may want to avoid certain situations because they make you anxious. Instead, try to prepare yourself for what’s coming.
For example, if you’re on a first date but are afraid of not having anything in common, try reading magazines and newspapers to find a few topics to talk about. If attending a party or work event triggers your symptoms, do some relaxation or breathing exercises to help you calm down before leaving home.
4. Start with small things
Don’t jump into big social situations. Arrange restaurant meals with friends or family so you can get used to eating in public. Try making eye contact and saying hello to people on the street or at the grocery store. If someone starts a conversation with you, ask them questions about their hobbies or favorite travel places.
As you become more comfortable, you can perform larger activities.
Be patient with yourself. Addressing social anxiety takes time and practice. You don’t have to face your biggest fears right away. If you take on too much in a short period of time, you can actually cause more anxiety.
5. Take attention away from yourself
Try to shift your attention to what’s going on around you rather than what’s going on in your head. You can do this by listening carefully to the conversation that is taking place, or by reminding yourself that others may not be able to tell how anxious you are just from the outside. People appreciate others appearing sincere and interested, so stay in the moment and be a good listener.
6. Talk to negative thoughts
These thoughts may be about people or situations, and may even be unconscious. Most of the time, they are wrong. But they can cause you to misread things like facial expressions. This may lead you to assume that people are thinking about you when in fact they are not.
One way is to simply use pen and paper:
- Think of all the negative thoughts you have had in a given situation.
- Write them down.
- Write down positive thoughts that challenge negative thoughts.
A common example:
Negative Thoughts: “This situation makes me anxious and I can’t cope.”
Challenge: ‘I’ve had anxiety before, but I’ve always gotten through it. I try my best to focus on the positive parts of the experience.’
7. Use your senses
Sight, hearing, smell, touch and taste – your senses can help you calm down when you’re feeling anxious. For some people, looking at a favorite photo or smelling a certain scent does the trick. Next time you start to feel anxious about a social situation, try listening to your favorite song, chewing on a delicious piece of gum, or snuggling with a pet.
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