INFJ – The Counselor is a personality that succeeds due to tenacity, creativity, and clear intentions. They put their best effort into their work, quietly care about others, and gain respect for their principles. They are respected and followed because they present a clear vision for the common good. INFJs pursue ideas, relationships, and material meaning, and have the insight to inspire others. They are above board, believe in their own values, and implement their vision in an organized and decisive manner.
INFJ Personality Overview
INFJ (Introversion, Intuition, Feeling, Judgment) is known as the Counselor personality. They have strong empathic abilities, can sense the emotions and intentions of others, and usually excel academically. INFJ is suitable for careers such as medical consulting, dramatization, art consultants, and writers. They are creative and original, independent, thoughtful, enthusiastic and delicate. INFJ is a global thinker with unique insights and high enthusiasm, able to think deeply and make effective decisions. They are one of four types of idealists.
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INFJ personality traits
Counselors (INFJs) strive to understand the meaning and connections between ideas, relationships, and matter. They desire to understand what motivates others and have strong insights into people. They are responsible, committed to their values, and have a clear vision of how to better serve the public. They are planned and decisive in achieving their goals.
INFJ type people are loyal, determined, and idealistic. They value integrity and often make great leaders because of their ability to persuade and their clear awareness of the public interest. Because they value friendship and harmony, INFJs tend to win cooperation through praise and praise rather than quarrels and threats. They are good at motivating their peers and avoiding quarrels.
INFJ people live in the world of ideas. They are independent and original thinkers with strong feelings, firm principles and integrity. Even in the face of doubt, they stand firm in their opinions and decisions. INFJs often have instinctive insights and are able to see the deeper meaning of things. Even if others cannot share their enthusiasm, their inspiration remains important and compelling to them.
INFJ people are thoughtful decision-makers, approach problems with enthusiasm, and usually think carefully before acting. They tend to concentrate on one thing and remain focused for a period of time. They are enthusiastic and compassionate, eager to contribute to the happiness of others, sensitive to the emotions and interests of others, and able to handle complex interpersonal relationships.
People of the INFJ type have deep and complex personalities, and are both sensitive and eager. They are introverted and difficult to understand, but are willing to share themselves with people they trust. They usually have a deep and long-lasting inner circle and can demonstrate their full personal enthusiasm in the right environment.
Careers suitable for INFJ personality
Counseling/Education: Career counselors, psychologists, teachers (high school or college foreign language, art, music, social sciences), educational consultants, librarians, special education teachers, bilingual education teachers, sociologists, Occupational therapist, child welfare counselor, early education teacher, psychological counselor, developmental psychologist.
These careers allow INFJs to use their personal opinions and knowledge to help others. Fields of consulting or education require deep personal collaboration, and INFJs often feel comfortable in such environments and enjoy the opportunity to learn and grow.
Creative Careers: Artist, playwright, poet, novelist, interior designer, freelance media planner, multimedia producer, website editor, film editor, educational design developer, costume designer.
What attracts INFJs to art is their ability to create unique pieces, incorporating their own perspective and imagination into them. Through art, INFJs can express themselves in a uniquely personal way while also shocking others.
Health Care/Social Services: Health care administrators, social service agency directors, dietitians/nutritionists, speech-language pathologists/audiologists, holistic health care physicians, funding coordinators, orthopedic therapists.
Social service jobs require service to others and conscientiousness, and INFJs often excel in this type of environment, especially when the organization is small and highly organized. Social service allows INFJs to come up with and put into practice new solutions to individual and social problems.
Business: Human resources manager, professional analyst, company/team trainer, product planner, consumer relationship consultant.
Although INFJs don’t often flock to the business world, some fields can bring career satisfaction. The above careers require an interest in people, helping others find jobs, creating an effective work environment, and solving people-centered problems, and INFJs can find satisfaction in these jobs.
Suitable partner for INFJ: inventor type
The INFJ and the Inventor type are often a perfect match. The Counselor type is reserved, complex, mysterious, and often troubled by introspection and ethical issues, while the Inventor type is outgoing and exploratory. Counselors can find relief from inventors, and inventors can find satisfaction in helping counselors, and sometimes discover the counselor’s essence and meaning in their plans.
About INFJ’s family
The Counselor personality wants harmony in family life and believes that overt or covert resistance can be extremely damaging to happiness. Although their circle of friends is small, it is deep and long-lasting. They are loyal companions who may not always be enthusiastic about sexual encounters, but are often subtle and occasion-conscious in their expressions of emotion. As parents, they do their best. Some counselor women may have a spiritual partnership with their children that may not be very healthy for either party. However, most counselors treat their children lovingly while also being strict with them.
About INFJ leadership
INFJs are among the most unobtrusive leaders, these quiet and sensitive people engage with others passionately and influence their growth. They have an uncanny awareness of the needs and abilities of others and encourage others to explore their own talents. Although they are rare and not good at self-promotion, their role in the organization cannot be ignored.
For INFJs, the most important thing is to be true to their own visions. They have a deep belief in the important matters of life rather than working for personal glory or power.
INFJ people often show selfless rescue spirit in emergencies. They embody a poetic view of justice, are difficult to contain, and are generally immune to fools and deceptions. Although INFJs are reasonable and compassionate, they are very picky about their friends, basing them on mutual interests.
INFJ is good at verbal expression and communication, is sensitive and does not need to talk much. They have their place in writing, consulting, public relations, and even politics.
INFJ Personality Love
INFJ types are known for their warm and deep personalities. Not only do they identify with others, they also pursue passionate and meaningful emotional relationships. Although their perfectionistic tendencies often lead them to pursue their ideal of a perfect partner, a trait that is positive in most cases, it can also cause them to frequently move from one relationship to another. Generally speaking, INFJs are gentle and caring people who invest a lot of energy in maintaining close relationships and strive to maintain a positive attitude. These special qualities earn them the respect of their intimate partners. They seek long-lasting, lifelong relationships, although this is not always an easy goal.
Advantages of INFJ in relationships
- Innate enthusiasm and identification: INFJs are passionate about others and go to great lengths to pursue true feelings.
- Sensitive and Caring: They are very sensitive to the feelings of others and usually have good communication skills, especially in writing.
- SERIOUS ABOUT COMMITMENT: INFJs are very serious about commitment and seek lifelong relationships.
- High Expectations: They have high expectations of themselves and others, which is both a strength and a potential weakness.
- Good Listeners: They are able to recover quickly from an ended relationship, as long as they are convinced that the relationship is truly over.
INFJ’s weaknesses in relationships
- Tend to retain themselves: They may retain part of themselves and are not good at financial management and practical matters.
- Aversion to quarrels and criticism: They have a strong aversion to quarrels and criticism.
- Difficulty leaving fruitless relationships: They may have difficulty getting out of fruitless relationships and have high expectations for themselves and others.
INFJs are passionate and caring partners who love their partners deeply and enjoy showing this love. Although their perfectionism may frustrate their partners, this genuine commitment and care is usually greatly appreciated. When it comes to sex, INFJs view intimacy as a nearly spiritual experience, and they value the opportunity to become one with their partner. INFJs are usually service-oriented people who attach great importance to their partner’s happiness and view intimacy as an opportunity for selfless giving. A more suitable natural partner for INFJ is ENTP or ENFP. The dominant function of these two personalities, ’extroverted intuition’, is most compatible with INFJ’s ‘introverted intuition’.
INFJ-Idealism
language
Idealists use abstract language, talk about things that cannot be observed, often use metaphors and decorative language, and like to exaggerate and describe. Their thinking is inductive and they are keen to draw general conclusions from details.
Using tools
Idealists tend to choose collaborative tools and actions, believing that tools need to be accepted by others rather than pursuing utilitarianism. They are confused by indifferent utilitarian behavior and worry that the good aspects of human nature will be lost as a result.
Interpersonal relationships
Idealists value building satisfying relationships, pursuing harmonious relationships with those around them, and working toward the common good. They lack interest in buying and selling and tend to choose careers related to language and writing, especially in the fields of natural sciences and mental rehabilitation.
Idealists are usually inspired by literary works and tend to interpret fictional descriptions such as stories, poems, legends, etc. Their work focuses on social science areas, particularly mental health services, and is committed to a humanitarian approach and service consultation.
INFJ personality positioning
Altruists believe that selfishness is immoral and service to others is noble. They devote themselves to helping others and long for the effect of ‘self-realization’. Idealists tend to believe in the innocence of things, are open to life’s difficulties and accidents, and believe that effects and causes cannot be fully understood and described.
They are content to explore the meaning of existence and focus on the future rather than real life.
INFJ Values
Idealists are easily emotional, and emotions come and go quickly. Fortunately, they tend to be on the positive side, manifesting themselves in great enthusiasm. They trust their intuition and usually integrate the feelings of others into their own feeling zone, hoping to empathize with them. They are committed romantics who pursue romance and invest a lot of time exploring their humanity and true selves. In order to be appreciated, they need others to ‘fit into their worldview.’ They are often misunderstood, or play a role for the sake of social reality. It is extremely important for them to gain praise from others, especially saint-like role models, who make them feel revered.
INFJ’s Spiritual Companion
Idealists have a very unique way of dealing with marital problems. They choose their lovers with a utopian attitude and long for a mysterious and meaningful marriage relationship. They work hard to create this relationship even if it doesn’t actually exist.
INFJ’s view on mate selection
Idealists typically do not commit immediately, but instead explore the possibility of a special and intimate relationship with someone. They don’t like to take dates casually and prefer to deepen superficial relationships from the past. They like to discuss the profound meaning of the movies or novels that have moved them, rather than mere plot descriptions. Idealists are looking for people who can share their inner world, and this process requires careful search. They are very sensitive to rejection and may actively end relationships to avoid emotional harm if they feel slighted.
Once they find that special someone, idealists pursue it with all their might and embrace it as an extraordinarily strong and everlasting emotion. Although they may be troubled by expectations, their romanticism and idealization make them work extremely hard.
Sex and Romance
Idealists often view sex as an expression of love rather than pure desire. They are passionate in the ideal world they have established and are easily touched by beauty and sensuality. Despite this, once two people are united, they will feel happy, but the reality of daily life may bring them down. For male idealists, reality can lead to instability; while women will be more committed and continue to pursue the romanticization of the relationship.
Idealists generally place little emphasis on marriage rituals and understandings of the relationship between the social conventions and personal commitments of marriage, viewing them as mere formalities. They usually consider themselves married after confirming their deep union with each other, and the wedding ceremony and form may be seen as unnecessary burdens.
INFJ Marriage
No matter what personality type they are married to, INFJs will always love, support, and understand their partner. They are unique in the emotional world, possessing extraordinary sensitivity and excellent ability to communicate emotions. INFJs are well versed in the art of appreciation and can express their praise generously to their loved ones. They have a strong ability to understand and accept their partners, and believe that establishing an intimate relationship is the most natural thing.
However, they may be troubled by excessive sensitivity and annoyance of emotional dependence on their spouse. They have difficulty balancing work and family time, and may be distracted from their existing relationships. Despite this, most INFJs will derive great satisfaction from exclusive love. They focus on the romance in marriage and expect to have the dual identities of lover and partner in the relationship.
Spouse matching
Choosing a rational person as a mate usually guarantees the success of the idealist. The basis of this combination is that both live mostly in an abstract world. After interacting with other types of people, idealists will feel as if they have discovered a new continent when they encounter rational people by chance, and they will be full of longing for the far future. At the same time, the calmness and autonomy of rational people are also traits that idealists admire and hope to imitate. Still, the relationship between the two wasn’t always harmonious. The conflict between the emotional expression of the idealist and the self-control, intuition and logic, ethics and pragmatism of the rational person brings challenges to this combination. Idealists always try to break through the resistance of rational people to emotional expression, often sparking sparks, and these sparks are the reason why idealists have a soft spot for rational people.
INFJ Family Relationships
People with the INFJ personality type are passionate and often called ‘grumpy people’ because their feelings are easily aroused and they sometimes display strong emotions. As children, they are often driven by passion and have little ability to remain calm. They may start talking earlier, with extroverted INFJs always talking, while introverted INFJs, although equally passionate, may be shy about expressing themselves or have difficulty with interpersonal interactions outside of the family.
Although idealistic children can sometimes appear irritable, they can still display a genuine enthusiasm and curiosity about others. They usually show various special interests and behaviors at an early age, but unfortunately, in many cases they lack behavioral models because their elders have limited experience in social activities, causing them to have to learn and improve on their own.
Idealist children are very sensitive to people close to them. When family relationships are harmonious, they feel good about themselves; when parents or siblings encounter difficulties, they are also affected. A happy family environment contributes to the early development of children’s self-esteem, while family discord may lead to a lack of coping skills when faced with problems.
Children with this type tend to strive to show kindness rather than provide concrete help. They have extremely high moral expectations for their attitudes towards themselves and others, and strive to be perfect. They don’t like to show off in front of others, and they don’t seek praise. Although they like to receive praise from adults, they do not base their confidence on it.
Idealist children want others to recognize their independence. Although they realize that they are different from others, they often do not understand this difference. Idealist and Rational children may feel alienated, but Rational children insist on themselves, while Idealist children are satisfied with their uniqueness.
Idealist children need parents who recognize their uniqueness and lovingly recognize their importance, which helps them identify themselves as valuable family members. They need to receive the message: ‘You are special, I value you, and you are important to me.’
Children of this type are the most trusting of others and rely more on intuition than behavioral norms. They are more likely to believe the stories they hear, even if they are stubborn about the authenticity of the stories. They like to listen to a story over and over again and add plot to it. They love medieval tales of knights, princes, princesses, evil forces and witches. Parents should guide them to read stories with happy endings, such as the final victory of the warrior and the reform of the bad guy, so that they will be attracted by eternal happiness, no matter how reality destroys their hopes and dreams.
Idealist children have a deep affection for their toys and will feel unfortunate if their toys are lost or accidentally discarded. They often view toys as friends, although this may lead to ridicule or rejection by others, thereby experiencing feelings of rejection.
Such children are often altruistic and skeptical about the world. They passionately explore ideas worth believing in and strive to build close, harmonious relationships with their children. They want to be involved in their children’s lives and inspire them with a positive image. Care for children is meticulous and endless.
Development Advice for INFJs
The secret to INFJ’s success is to pay attention to details, learn to be flexible, and do things voluntarily without relying on the supervision of others.
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