Social interaction is an indispensable part of human life. It not only affects the harmony of interpersonal relationships, but also has a profound impact on our career development, mental health and resource acquisition. However, social interaction is not always easy and pleasant, with problems such as malice, consumption, collapse of personality, and crises of trust emerging one after another.
How to be at ease in a complex social environment, avoid social traps, and improve efficiency and quality?
This article provides you with 10 practical social principles to help you build a sense of value, security and sustainable relationship in real social interaction.
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1. Understand the social environment: laying a solid foundation for interpersonal communication
1. Analyze your social circle and surrounding environment
Different social environments have different rules and expectations. First of all, you need to understand and adapt to these 'invisible rules' in order to gain recognition and respect from others.
You can try to analyze three types of people in your social circle:
- Key people : have actual impact on you or resource linkage;
- More critical people : middle-level roles that indirectly affect your social image or resources;
- Ordinary people : ordinary interactive relationships.
Understanding these groups’ needs, values, and interaction preferences can help you build relationships with them more effectively. Observe, listen and ask questions in moderation are great ways to get information, but be careful to respect boundaries and avoid snooping or inquire about privacy.
2. Understand taboos and avoid social thieves
Each circle, culture or subculture has specific taboos and red lines. For example:
- Do not spread rumors, deceive, or betray;
- Avoid discussing sensitive topics such as religion, politics, or other people's privacy;
- Some “jokes” or jokes may be considered offensive.
If you are not sure what is the untouchable bottom line, it is best to consult an experienced person or consult information first to avoid ignorance and death.
2. Create intersectable image: Showing a real but attractive self
3. Don’t pursue perfection, pursue cost-effectiveness
Making others feel that you are 'worthy of dating' does not require you to be perfect, but to be attractive and exchange of emotional value in interaction. Specific practices include:
- Share real interests, insights or experiences;
- Show your curiosity and respect;
- Give encouragement, listening and resonance in conversations.
There is no need to cater to or imitate others, but more importantly, present your personal style and charm.
4. Show your special value (but don't make up stories)
If you have abilities or experiences that are beyond ordinary people in one aspect, such as:
- Once traveling the world;
- Proficient in multiple languages;
- Have industry-specific certification;
- Is the opinion leader in a certain circle...
Share these content appropriately can enhance your social appeal. But if you don't have anything special, you don't need to make it up. Once the fictional content is revealed, your credibility will be seriously damaged.
5. Self-check your conversation
Many people are offensive because of small details, such as:
- Speech speed is too fast or too slow;
- Like to interrupt others;
- Use arrogant or slang;
- Tell too much about 'myself'.
It is recommended that you review regularly: you can record audio, video, or ask trusted friends to provide feedback and continuously optimize your communication style.
3. Build a trust relationship: make interaction sustainable and stable
6. Self-esteem cannot resist malice, only self-confidence can be
When you are not strong enough, your self-esteem will only make you vulnerable and sensitive; when you are strong enough, confidence is your most reliable shield.
Only by letting go of passive self-esteem (“others can’t underestimate me”) and instead building active self-confidence (“I have the ability to face accusations”) can you truly be calm in socializing. Avoiding emotional social reactions due to the so-called 'face problem' and maintaining calmness and dignity is a manifestation of maturity.
7. Trust is made by doing things, not by empty talk
Trust is not something that is said, but something that is done. This is the same as the credit card limit, which requires multiple 'repayment records' to increase:
- Complete the promise on time;
- Conserve the other party’s privacy;
- Do not change your position or put pigeons at will.
Don’t make random promises to gain favorable feelings, and don’t make up your image by boasting - this will only backfire you at critical moments.
8. Clean up social circles regularly to reduce invalid 'playmates'
The time and energy for socializing are limited. You need to identify who are valuable reciprocity, and which are just 'playing around and spending time' and even consuming your connections and emotions.
It is recommended that you undergo a social circle physical examination every once in a while:
- Who continues to give you positive feedback?
- Who is just asking for or pouring out emotions?
- What connections can be appropriately downplayed or disconnected?
This is not snobbery, but rationality. Mature social interaction should not be based on the illusion of 'rather than lack of'.
4. Keep the social bottom line: Don’t let boundaries collapse become a fatal gap
9. The most taboo in social interaction: step on low and support high, reveal privacy, and get close to each other
Beware of the following social errors:
- Touting the superiors, belittling peers or juniors;
- Use other people’s privacy gossip to get closer;
- Excessive exposure of one's emotions or privacy can bring sympathy or friendship.
Maintaining equality, respect, and sense of boundaries is the basis for maintaining good relationships in the long run.
10. Please explain the interests and cooperation in advance, and don’t turn your back on the fucking profits.
Cooperation in social interaction often involves the distribution of resources and benefits. The best way to do it is:
- Clarify the division of labor and the distribution of interests in the early stages of cooperation;
- Respect the contract and written agreement;
- If small losses occur, it is considered a favorable investment rather than a trap.
Transparency and fairness are the best insurance to prevent relationship breakdowns.
Summary: The underlying logic of smart social interaction
The essence of social interaction is long-term cooperation , not short-term manipulation.
- You don't need to please everyone, but find the right people to build high-quality links.
- You don't have to be perfect, but you have to be able to bring positive value to others.
- You can show your true self, but you can't cross other people's boundaries.
I hope that the above 10 practical social principles can help you avoid risks, reduce social internal friction, and improve relationship quality in real life.
If you also have social experience or have a story about pitfalls, please leave a message in the comment area and communicate 👇
May you always have strength, demeanor and bottom line in complex interpersonal relationships.
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