Love at first sight in idol dramas is always aspiring to, but in reality, finding someone who can be thoughtful is harder than taking the civil service exam. Especially in the era of social software flooding, I have swiped left and right to accumulate a bunch of friends, but I found that there is not even a person who can talk about late-night topics. What’s even more heartbreaking is that many times the things that hinder us from getting out of singleness are not the ones we cannot meet the right person, but the “little theater” in our hearts is damaging - those secret switches hidden in our personality are quietly pushing away the fate.
According to the survey, 68% of single people have 'self-limiting' behavior in intimate relationships. These 'psychological barriers' woven by personality traits and growth experiences are like background programs in mobile phones, unknowingly consuming the power of emotions. Next, we use MBTI personality tools to disassemble these internal obstacles and help you find the 'system loopholes' in love.
7 Self-spoiling Modes: How is your personality screwing up love?
1. Escape first if you are afraid of being rejected: 'Emotional Wolf Prevention Technique' of sensitive personality
Why is it like being thrown into cold water when rejected by someone you like? This is because the brain recognizes rejection as an 'existential threat', triggering a self-protection mechanism. But some people have used this trick too much: before they even started chatting, they preset that 'he will definitely not look down on me', and they take the initiative to cool down as soon as there are signs, and they call it 'If you don't have expectations, you won't be disappointed.'
Highly sensitive groups (F+T personality) are particularly prone to being infected. For example, the INFJ little angel is born with a very sensitive radar. If the other party looks wrong, he can make up for the script of 'He is perfunctory to me'.
If you also have this kind of 'rejection phobia', click to unlock the INFJ's exclusive desensitization guide and learn how to replace 'wolf prevention techniques' with 'law of attraction'. See more about how INFJ breaks through the inner demon
2. Too big suspicion: 'detective addiction' with intuitive personality
'He didn't post a photo of me in his circle of friends, but he didn't love him enough.' 'There must be something wrong when answering the phone,' - Behind this kind of suspicion, there may be unhealed betrayal scars. But intuitive players (N-type personality) are more likely to use their brains as evidence: they are good at compose stories from details, but often regard 'possession' as 'truth'.
Typical examples are ENTP debaters who have too strong logical deduction skills and are more likely to play the 'Who is Undercover' game in their relationship. Want to quit 'detective addiction'? Click get ENTP exclusive trust reconstruction plan to learn how to use 'empirical thinking' instead of 'script killing conjecture'. See more about how ENTP tames
3. Feeling that you are not worthy of being loved: 'Inferiority script' of introverted personality
'He is so outstanding, he will definitely look down on me.' 'I have had several failed loves, and I may really not be suitable for getting married' - this kind of self-negation will lead to two extremes: either be a 'limbing dog' in love, or use an 'independent character' to conceal a desire. A survey shows that 62% of I+T-shaped personality will perform a 'substantial drama' in intimate relationships.
For example, ISTJ practitioners are used to measuring value by the standard of 'complete tasks', and are prone to falling into a cycle of 'I'm not good enough' in love. If you also have a 'unworthy feeling', click to receive the ISTJ self-identification manual and learn how to change the 'inferiority script' to 'the script of the heroine'. See more about how ISTJ counterattack
4. Ignore the Red Line as a Love Brain: The 'Filter Mode' of Exploring Personality
During the passionate love period, I feel that the other person is late is a 'true temperament', the Cold War is a 'introvert and not talkative', and even regards the desire to control as 'caring about me' - this 'full filter opening' mode is essentially a paralyzing reason with a sense of freshness.
The most likely thing to step on this pit is to make a fuss in the Aizhai group (P+F type personality) . For example, ESFP is born to pursue excitement and may ignore the core contradictions in order to maintain a 'sweet love'. Want to remove the 'Love Brain' filter? Click to accept the ESFP guide to sober love and learn how to use 'value physical examination' instead of 'feeling first'. See more about how ESFP avoids pitfalls
5. Emotional constipation cannot be said: the 'rational armor' of thinking personality
'Can you stop talking about big principles when quarrel?' 'Can you react a little?' - This is the point that rationalists (T-shaped personality) are often criticized by their partners. They are accustomed to using logic to seal emotions, treating 'not showing fragility' as strength, but unknowingly build a wall of heart.
INTJ planners are particularly typical: it’s not that they don’t love, they don’t know how to translate “I love you” into human language. If you also have 'emotional expression disorder', click to unlock the INTJ's exclusive love words manual and learn how to change 'rational armor' to 'gentle soft ribs'. See more about how INTJ melts icebergs
6. Being a good person dares not refuse: a 'wretched package' for pleasing personality
'He likes to eat spicy food, even if I have a bad stomach, I will accompany him to eat.' 'If you want to lie flat at home on weekends, you should accompany him to see a friend' - This 'respond to all requests' model has brought superficial harmony in the short term, but it has accumulated a lot of 'worry points' in my heart.
The highly empathetic group (F+T personality) is most likely to fall into this vicious circle. For example, the ISFJ guardian is born with a 'others first' setting, but often forgets that he needs to be taken care of.
Want to get rid of the 'good old man' curse? Click to receive the ISFJ self-priority strategy and learn how to change the 'wretched package' to the 'equality menu'. See more about how ISFJ gets back
7. Communication failure between chickens and ducks: 'language barriers' caused by personality differences
'You say something, I say something.' 'The quarrel is not always on the same channel' - this kind of communication misalignment may be due to completely different thinking patterns. Extraverted straight ball type (E+T) is accustomed to having something to say directly, while introverted implicit type (I+F) likes 'Guess I Guess', and the collision between the two modes often becomes 'ineffective communication competition'.
Want to crack the communication password? Come to PsycTest Quiz official website (psychtest.cn) to do free MBTI tests and generate your exclusive communication guide. For example, ESTP actionists are suitable for 'direct gift + result-oriented' communication, while INFP poets need 'emotional preparation + positive feedback'. After testing, say goodbye to 'play the piano against the cow'.
Breakthrough Guide: 3 steps to remove the wall in your heart
Getting rid of self-restriction does not rely on willpower to endure it, but requires a scientific 'wall-breaking strategy':
- Packet capture site : Use a mobile phone memo to record every 'self-destruction' moment (such as 'He didn't reply in seconds, I immediately deleted the message I just edited')
- Traceability analysis : Find the root of behavior from the dimensions of 'childhood interaction model' and 'trauma coping mechanism'. Many users found that their 'rejection fear' may be due to frequent denial by their parents when they were young.
- Customized solutions : For example, you can practice the 'sandwich rejection method' (affirming the other party + expressing yourself + providing alternatives)
Words to all those who seek love: understand yourself first, then meet love
Love is not the fate of two people, but the resonance of two complete souls. When you begin to understand the 'emotional code' in your personality, you can not only avoid the pit of self-limiting, but also be clearer about what you want. PsycTest Quiz's MBTI tool is like a 'navigator' in love, helping you bypass the maze in your heart and sail to a harbor that truly suits you.
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