In close relationships, some people express love in words, some people use actions, and some people use company. And if you are the ESFJ personality in the MBTI type 16 personality, or the important person around you is the ESFJ personality, then you will definitely find that they are born 'emotional service providers', love warmly, warmly and responsively.
This article will deeply analyze the typical manifestations of ESFJ's personality in a romantic relationship, and see how they express love and hope to be loved. Want to know which kind of love expression you belong to? It is recommended that you click on the love language test immediately to learn about your 'love expression' for free.
What is ESFJ? Do you know your personality type?
The ESFJ personality, also known as the 'Consul', belongs to the extrovert, perceptual, emotional and judgmental personality in MBTI (Myers-Briggs personality type indicator). They are friendly, enthusiastic, helpful, good at building intimate relationships and are like fish in water in the crowd.
One of their greatest joys is taking care of others, especially their close partners. If you have ESFJs around you, you may find:
- They are used to arrange everything for you;
- Always remember important anniversary;
- Will carefully prepare gifts or delicacies for you;
- Appear at your side as soon as you are in a low mood.
Want to know what kind of personality type you have? You can immediately perform the official free MBTI test of PsycTest Quiz to discover your true personality and emotional needs.
ESFJ's 'Love Language': Dedication is the core of love
✅ 1. Prove “I love you” with your actions
The typical expression of ESFJ personality is 'consider behavior.' They will silently arrange daily trivial matters for their partners, from food, clothing, housing and transportation to life arrangements, and everything is centered on each other. Their subtext is: “I do this not because I have to, but because I love you.”
They are not very good at empty love words, but they are good at living 'I love you' into every detail of their lives.
✅ 2. Desire to get response and affirmation
ESFJs are also very concerned about being 'recognized'. Their love is not a one-way output, they want to hear: 'Thank you', 'You are really careful', 'I am really touched'.
If you don't get a response or emotional feedback for a long time, ESFJ may fall into self-doubt of 'I'm not good enough'.
✅ 3. Like to accompany and share time
ESFJ is not just a person who gives silently, they also attach great importance to intimate company. They want to spend time with their partners: cooking, traveling, shopping, watching movies... For them, companionship is the most direct proof of love.
✅ 4. Be generous in emotional expression
As an emotionally oriented personality, ESFJ is also very willing to express emotions in close relationships. Whether it is joy, grievance or longing, they tend to be open and honest. Their goal is clear: let the loved one know their feelings and to detect the other person's changes in time.
How to love an ESFJ?
- ✅ Express your gratitude in words;
- ✅ Listen carefully to their feelings;
- ✅ Accept their “overthinking” habits;
- ✅ Respond and acknowledge in details;
- ✅ Take the initiative to arrange a relaxing date or surprise for them.
They are not people who need material rewards, but people who desire to be seen and responded to.
There is more than one way to express love, which one do you belong to?
Different people express love in a very different way, but what about you? Do you prefer to express it in words, or to prove it with actions, or just need quiet company?
Welcome to experience our recommended language test for love for free to see which communication style you belong to and to better understand your partner.
In addition, we also recommend you to try the official free MBTI test of PsycTest Quiz to understand your personality type and love pattern.
If you want to have a deeper understanding of the performance, communication habits, and emotional handling of ESFJ or other personality types in love, welcome to read our MBTI Advanced Personality Archive . This series of content will help you more accurately grasp the underlying logic of intimacy from a psychological perspective.
Further reading recommendations:
- MBTI ESFJ personality detailed analysis
- More interpretations of ESFJ personality
- Character Matching in Love: MBTI Couple Matching Table
- Different ways to express 'I love you': The language of love from the MBTI personality type
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