Relationships are an integral part of our lives, affecting our emotions, growth, and happiness. However, interpersonal communication is not an easy thing. It requires us to master some basic principles and skills in order to avoid unnecessary trouble and conflicts. In this article, I will share with you 20 rules of interpersonal relationships, hoping to help you improve your interpersonal skills and level.
**Article 1: The core premise of interpersonal communication is that the self-worth of two people should be equal, at least not too far apart. **
This is the most basic and important law of human relationships. If the self-worth of two people is very different, then the interaction between them will be out of balance, causing one party to feel depressed or inferior, and the other party to feel proud or contemptuous. Such a relationship is neither healthy nor long-lasting. Therefore, before interacting with others, we must first understand the value of ourselves and the other person, and then choose those who match or are similar to us as friends or partners.
**Article 2: Unless there are special circumstances, do not take the initiative to give advice to others. The problem of poor cognition is common. **
Many times, we feel that we know something better than others, or that we are more qualified to provide guidance and help to others. However, this idea is often based on our own knowledge and experience and may not necessarily apply to other people’s situations and needs. If we proactively give advice to others without their consent or request, we may be resented or rejected by the other person, or even cause hostility or misunderstanding. Therefore, in most situations, we should remain humble and respectful, and only give our opinions and ideas when others actively seek our opinions or suggestions.
**Article 3: If someone with a higher rank than you is willing to give you advice, please fully demonstrate your learning ability and execution ability, and be sure to give timely feedback. **
In interpersonal communication, we sometimes encounter people who are more capable, more experienced, wiser, more statusful and more influential than us. These people are very valuable resources and opportunities for us. They can provide us with a lot of useful information, knowledge, skills, methods, suggestions, etc. If these people are willing to teach us or help us, then we should seize this opportunity to fully demonstrate our learning ability and execution ability, and we must give timely feedback. Doing so will not only allow us to gain more benefits and progress, but also allow the other party to feel our sincerity and gratitude.
**Article 4: Don’t do things that require a lot of your energy but have little effect, such as trying to use your own power to change someone who doesn’t want to change at all. **
In interpersonal relationships, we sometimes encounter people who make us feel dissatisfied or uncomfortable, for example, people with bad habits, personalities, attitudes, and behaviors. We may want to change them to make them better or more in line with our expectations. However, this idea is often futile because changing someone is very difficult and energy-consuming, especially when that person simply doesn’t want to change or doesn’t think there’s something wrong with them. Therefore, in this case, we should give up this useless attempt and choose to accept them or stay away from them.
**Article 5: People often have biases in self-understanding. It is recommended to rely on the people around you to understand the truest self through them, which will be more objective and correct. **
In interpersonal relationships, we sometimes overestimate or underestimate ourselves. This is because we are affected by our own emotions, psychology, experiences and other factors, which prevent us from accurately understanding ourselves. This kind of self-understanding bias will bring us a lot of trouble and distress, for example, it will cause us to miss some opportunities or challenges, or it will cause us to fall into some difficulties or crises. Therefore, in this case, we should use more people around us to understand the truest self through them, which will be more objective and correct. Of course, we must also choose those who truly care about us, understand us, support us, and respect us as references.
**Article 6: When communicating and getting along with others, you need to have a bit of edge of your own. Excessive politeness is actually a kind of flattery. **
In interpersonal relationships, we sometimes encounter people who make us feel awe or fear, for example, those who have more authority, status, ability, fame, and wealth than us. We may be overly polite and humble toward them, thinking that this will make them like us or appreciate us. However, this approach is actually a kind of flattery. It will make the other person feel that we have no confidence or personality, and will also reduce our value and status in the eyes of the other person. Therefore, in this situation, we should maintain appropriate politeness and respect, and show a little bit of our own edge and characteristics.
**Article 7: When sending messages to others, please talk directly about the matter. Do not send others false polite words such as ‘Are you there’ or ‘Are you free?’ and do not let others guess the purpose of you looking for him. **
In relationships, we sometimes communicate and connect with others through messages. However, before sending messages to others, we should first think clearly about our purpose and intention of finding the other person, and say it directly. Don’t send fake polite words like ‘Are you there’ or ‘Are you free’ to others? This will make others think that you are delaying or wasting time, and it will also make others guess your purpose of looking for him. Doing so will not only affect the efficiency and quality of communication, but also affect the other party’s impression and feelings of you.
**Article 8: If you have achieved some results, or are really better than others in some aspect, remember not to show off. **
In relationships, we sometimes achieve something, or are really stronger than others in some aspect, which makes us feel proud and satisfied. However, if we show off our strengths too much or belittle the weaknesses of others in this situation, then we will make others feel uncomfortable or jealous. Doing so not only damages our relationships with others, it also exposes our own shortcomings and weaknesses. Therefore, in this situation, we should remain humble and low-key, and respect and appreciate the merits and efforts of others.
**Article 9: When asking others for advice, first think about the idea in your mind, or directly list the order of 123, and clearly express the confusion and current situation. **
In relationships, we sometimes ask others for advice or help. However, when asking others for advice, we should first think about the ideas in our minds, or directly list the order of 123, and clearly express the confusion and current situation. Do not ask vague, confusing, disorderly, or irrelevant questions to others. This will make others feel that you are not prepared or have not thought carefully, and it will also increase the difficulty and time of communication. Doing so can not only improve the efficiency and quality of problem solving, but also make the other party feel your professionalism and respect.
**Article 10: Praising others is the cheapest way to improve interpersonal relationships. You can do it more. **
In interpersonal relationships, we sometimes encounter people who we admire or like, for example, those who have excellent qualities, abilities, achievements, appearance, style, etc. We may express our compliments or compliments to them, thinking that this will make them like us or get closer to us. However, this approach is actually a very effective and simple way. It can increase trust and friendship between us and others, and can also enhance our own image and charm. Therefore, in this case, we should praise others more, and the praise should be sincere, appropriate and timely.
**Article 11: After most people chat with others, there is a high probability that they will not remember the content of the chat, but they will definitely remember the experience and feelings of the chat, so it is important to slightly change the way you speak. **
In interpersonal relationships, we sometimes chat with others and share information, knowledge, opinions, stories, etc. However, after chatting with others, most people will not remember the content of the chat, but they will definitely remember the experience and feelings of the chat. If we speak in a monotonous, boring, cold, mean, negative, etc. way, then we will leave a bad or uncomfortable impression on the other person, and it will also affect the other person’s attitude and emotions towards us. Therefore, in this case, we should slightly change the way we speak to make our speech more interesting, warm, polite, positive, etc.
**Article 12: If you are in the workplace, do not complain to your colleagues about the company’s problems and your grievances. There is a high chance that these words will reach the ears of your boss. **
In relationships, we sometimes find ourselves in the workplace and getting along and working with co-workers. However, when we are in the workplace, we should pay attention to our words and deeds, and do not complain to colleagues about the company’s problems and your grievances. There is a high probability that these words will reach the ears of your boss. If we do this, we will leave a disloyal, unprofessional, uncooperative, and unmotivated impression on our superiors, and it will also affect our status and future in the company. Therefore, in this case, we should remain silent or change the topic, and try to find ways to solve the problem or improve the situation.
**Article 13: No matter how busy you are, please keep learning and reading, and continue to iterate your knowledge. **
In interpersonal relationships, we sometimes encounter people who make us admire or envy, for example, those who have extensive knowledge, profound insights, unique perspectives, novel ideas, etc. We may want to learn from them or get close to them, thinking that this can improve our level or expand our horizons. However, this kind of thinking actually requires a lot of effort and time, because the reason why these people can reach such a state is because they keep learning and reading, and continue to iterate their own cognition. Therefore, in this case, we should keep learning and reading no matter how busy we are, and continue to iterate our own knowledge.
**Article 14: When you are passionately in love, don’t easily believe anything the other person says or promises. When the passion fades, you will be sincere. **
In relationships, we sometimes encounter people who make us feel admired or infatuated, for example, people with attractive appearance, personality, style, etc. We may express our love or commitment to them and believe whatever they say and any promises they make to us. However, this idea is actually very dangerous and naive, because when in love, people are often affected by passion and impulse, and say some words and promises that are untrue or irresponsible. When the passion fades, the sincerity appears. Therefore, in this case, we should stay rational and sober, and use actions rather than words to prove our love for ourselves and the other person.
**Article 15: Have a Buddhist attitude toward the goodness of human nature. It’s okay if you have the best, but if you don’t have it, it’s okay. Don’t have too high expectations, otherwise you will definitely be disappointed.
Do not underestimate the evil of human nature. You may encounter countless malicious intentions from others. When everyone is competing for interests, no one can care about you, and it is normal for you to even infringe on your interests. **
In interpersonal relationships, we sometimes meet people who make us feel warm or moved, such as those with kind hearts, righteous deeds, honest words, loyal feelings, etc. We may express our gratitude or trust to them and expect them to always treat us well or stay with us. However, this idea is actually very idealistic and very unrealistic, because in this world, the kindness of human nature is very scarce and fragile. It is easily affected and changed by the outside world, and may not be lasting and lasting. Stablize. Therefore, in this case, we should have a Buddhist attitude towards the goodness of human nature. It is okay to have the best and not have it. Don’t have too high expectations, otherwise we will definitely be disappointed.
Similarly, in interpersonal relationships, we sometimes encounter people who make us feel indifferent or hurt, such as those with selfish hearts, evil deeds, hypocritical words, betrayal, etc. We may express our anger or disgust toward them and hope that they will change their ways or leave us. However, this idea is actually very naive and very dangerous, because in this world, the evil of human nature is very common and powerful. It often occupies a dominant position in people’s hearts, and it is not easy to eliminate and change. Therefore, in this case, we should not underestimate the evil of human nature. You may encounter countless malicious intentions from others. When everyone is competing for interests, no one can take care of you or even infringe on you. interests are also normal.
**Article 16: The black and white right and wrong we see actually only exist in our subjective consciousness, so try to judge right and wrong as little as possible. **
In interpersonal relationships, we sometimes encounter things that make us agree or disagree, such as things that are in line with or against our values, morals, aesthetics, etc. We may express our support or opposition to these things and consider these things to be right or wrong, good or bad, beautiful or ugly, etc. However, this idea is actually very subjective and one-sided, because in this world, there is no absolute and unified standard to judge right and wrong. Different people have different views and positions, and they all have their own reasonable and unified standards. Legal reasons and evidence. Therefore, in this case, we should try our best to judge right and wrong as little as possible, and respect and understand other people’s choices and decisions.
**Article 17: When communicating with others, the person with the strongest momentum is often easier to convince the other person, even if his reason is not the most correct. **
In interpersonal relationships, we sometimes have disputes or debates with others, for example, those involving interests, power, beliefs, etc. We may try to convince the other person with our own reasons and evidence, and hope that the other person will accept or agree with us. However, this idea is actually very difficult to realize and very unrealistic, because when communicating with others, the person with the strongest momentum is often easier to convince the other person, even if his reason is not the most correct. This is because the person with the strongest momentum will cause a sense of psychological pressure or fear to the other person, and will also affect the other person’s emotions and judgment. Therefore, in this situation, we should pay attention to our momentum and attitude, and try to stay calm and confident.
**Article 18: Everyone will have a reflective side of their own personality, so don’t dare to approach someone if you see him being very cold. He may not be that cold. **
In interpersonal relationships, we sometimes encounter people who make us feel awe or fear, for example, those who have character traits such as coldness, strength, seriousness, mystery, etc. We may feel distant or distant from them and assume that they do not like or need to interact with others. However, this idea is actually very one-sided and very misunderstood, because everyone will have a reflection of their own personality, so don’t dare to approach someone if you see him being cold. He may not be that cold. This is because personality traits such as aloofness do not represent the entirety or essence of a person, and may also be a way of self-protection or adaptation to the environment. Therefore, in this case, we should know more about and contact a person and discover the other side hidden behind them.
**Article 19: In interpersonal relationships, your intuition is actually very accurate. This applies to any relationship. **
In interpersonal relationships, we sometimes encounter people who make us feel comfortable or uncomfortable, such as those who have an atmosphere of harmony, joy, kindness, sincerity, etc., or those who are nervous, depressed, indifferent, hypocritical, etc. Vibe people. We may express our likes or dislikes toward these people and rely on our intuition to judge their character and qualities. However, this idea is actually very correct and very reliable, because in interpersonal relationships, your intuition is actually very accurate, and this applies to any relationship. This is because intuition is a quick and unconscious judgment based on our experience, knowledge, emotions and other factors. It can help us catch some subtle and obscure signals, and can also reflect our true feelings and feelings about a person. manner. Therefore, in this case, we should trust and listen to our intuition and choose and maintain our relationships based on it.
**Article 20: If a person always likes to pretend to be smart, this person is probably not very smart; if a person always likes to pretend to be smart, this person is most likely a loser. **
In interpersonal relationships, we sometimes encounter people who make us feel bored or sarcastic, for example, people who always like to pretend to be smart or pretend to be cool. They may use some complex, esoteric, high-end, professional, etc. words or concepts to show their knowledge or abilities, and expect others to admire or worship them. However, this idea is actually very stupid and ridiculous, because if a person always likes to pretend to be smart, this person is probably not very smart; if a person always likes to pretend to be smart, this person is probably a bad guy. This is because really smart or awesome people don’t need to prove themselves or attract others in this way. They will use their actual actions and results to show their value and charm, and they will also use their modesty and low-keyness. To win the respect and trust of others. Therefore, in this case, we should maintain a calm and contemptuous attitude towards these people and stay away from them.
The above are 20 rules that you must know in interpersonal relationships. Hope it helps.
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