In the MBTI Type 16 personality test, INFP (Mediator type) is considered one of the most idealistic and empathetic types. They are happy to forgive others, but they are often in trouble when they forgive themselves. Faced with mistakes and failures, they tend to fall into a whirlpool of self-blame, shame, and repeated reflection. Why is it so difficult for people with this kind of personality to tolerate themselves?
This article will deeply explore the self-forgiveness dilemma of INFP personality, analyze the differences between different INFP types, and provide specific and practical methods to help INFPs learn to accept themselves and let go of their burdens, thereby achieving inner self-healing and growth.
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Self-forgive disorder of INFP personality
Why does INFP always have difficulty letting go of itself?
The three core qualities of INFP personality - idealism, self-criticism, and emotional internalization constitute the fundamental reason why they find it difficult for them to forgive themselves.
Idealism makes INFP too harsh on itself
INFP's personality is driven by the pursuit of ideals, justice and a better world. They have a rich inner world and have extremely high requirements for their own personality. They do not pursue 'perfection' of external standards, but a set of 'spiritual ideals' set in their hearts, and use this to judge whether they are 'good enough'.
When real behaviors fail to achieve this high ideal, they will fall into serious guilt and self-negation.
Suggestions : Try to regard ideals as 'guidance' rather than 'standard'. Whenever you feel self-blame, ask yourself, “What can I learn from this experience?” Turn mistakes into opportunities for growth rather than evidence of inner attacks.
Want to further explore your personality potential? You can view MBTI's advanced personality profile to provide more in-depth personality interpretation and growth suggestions.
Self-reflection can easily evolve into emotional infusion
After making mistakes, INFPs often repeatedly analyze their motivations, behaviors and consequences. They do not lack self-reflection ability, but have a strong internal reflection mechanism. But this excessive introspection often turns into an endless psychological judgment.
Especially when social or moral errors occur, INFP is very likely to fall into negative self-awareness such as 'How can I do this?' and 'They must be disappointed in me.'
Internalization and isolation of emotions
In the face of strong negative emotions, the first reaction of INFP is usually to retreat. They tend to deal with emotions alone and avoid communicating with others. This 'internalized coping mechanism' makes them more likely to be trapped by their emotions and find it difficult to obtain external comfort and perspective.
When the above three qualities are intertwined, INFP is easily trapped in a closed loop of self-judgment and it is difficult to forgive itself. This also explains why INFP is one of the least easy MBTI types to forgive itself in MBTI personality test research.
Practical advice: How do INFP forgive yourself?
Method 1: Cultivate a gentle way to “talk to yourself”
Have you discovered that when your friends make mistakes, you can always be gentle, encourage, considerate and comforted? But being extremely harsh on yourself? Try to ask yourself back, 'If this is the mistake my closest friend made, how would I tell him?'
Impose the tolerance you give to others to yourself. You don't need to turn a blind eye to your mistakes, but face it with an understanding attitude.
Method 2: Break the trap of perfectionism
For INFP, the inner 'ideal self' is often not allowed to make mistakes. But in real life, everyone makes mistakes. You need to remind yourself: growth is not always upward, but has fluctuations, ups and downs, and room for recurrence.
Write down some “right to make mistakes” sentences as daily psychological training, such as:
- “Making mistakes doesn’t mean I’m not good enough.”
- “I can fail, but I still deserve to be loved.”
- “I’m not the perfect person, but I’ve been working hard.”
Method 3: Try to write a 'self-forgive diary'
Record one thing that makes you feel guilty every day and write it down:
- The motivation behind this incident (how did you set out at that time)
- What are you willing to learn from this
- How would you comfort the person involved if you were a bystander
This way of writing can help you look at yourself from another perspective and gradually remove the constraints in your emotions.
INFP-A and INFP-T: Two styles of self-treatment
In the MBTI personality, INFP can be further subdivided into self-confidence type (INFP-A) and turbulent type (INFP-T) . The two show obvious differences in forgiveness of themselves:
- 79% of INFP-As say they can usually forgive their mistakes
- And only 26% of INFP-Ts say they can do this
INFP-A: A confident personality that is easier to 'let go'
When facing mistakes, INFP-A tends to be tolerant of itself. They might say, “I did something wrong, but that doesn’t mean I’m a bad person.” They are willing to keep moving forward without getting stuck in their emotions.
INFP-T: A turbulent personality that is more prone to self-blame
INFP-T is often trapped in negative thinking of 'Am I so bad?' and 'Does others no longer trust me?' They are more likely to regard a mistake as a denial of self-worth and fall into a state of repeated thinking and even self-punishment.
No matter which INFP you are, learning to accept yourself is a process that requires practice. It is recommended that you learn more about MBTI's personality growth path through INFP Advanced Personality Files and find your own personality solution.
Further reading: Comprehensive analysis of MBTI INFP personality: Characteristics and advantages of self-confidence (INFP-A) and turbulent (INFP-T)
How does INFP move towards the path of self-acceptance?
INFP personality is born with a strong sense of empathy and ideals. This makes them gentle and considerate to others, but tend to be harsh and harsh to themselves.
To break this internal friction, all you need to do is not just 'understand why you are like this', but more importantly, start trying to treat yourself in new ways :
- Don't treat errors as 'failure', but 'growth material'
- Don't fight alone, but take the initiative to seek support (friends, writing, professional tutoring)
- Allow yourself to be 'not perfect', but also 'worthy of being accepted'
If you want to have a deeper understanding of the impact of the 16-type personality system on self-growth, we recommend that you read the MBTI Advanced Personality Profile , which will help you understand your potential more clearly and develop a more suitable growth strategy.
Not sure if I am an INFP? It is recommended that you conduct a free MBTI test first to understand which personality type you belong to.
Explore your personality potential, starting with a precise personality test. Welcome to the official website of PsycTest Quiz (psychtest.cn) to start your MBTI personality exploration journey. More INFP personality analysis can be read: INFP personality analysis article
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