Childhood shadow refers to various psychological traumas suffered in childhood, such as domestic violence, sexual assault, abuse, neglect, bullying, etc. These traumas can have a profound impact on an individual’s growth and development, leading to low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, fear, etc. psychological problems. Childhood shadow will not only affect an individual’s emotions and behavior, but also affect an individual’s interpersonal relationships and social adaptability.
Childhood shadows are often difficult to detect and deal with, because people’s self-protection mechanisms will actively suppress or forget those painful experiences, making individuals unable to face and resolve their own psychological trauma. However, if not cured, the shadow of childhood will remain stuck in the heart like a thorn, preventing people from truly unleashing their potential and value.
So, how can we get out of the shadow of childhood and rebuild our self-confidence? Here are some actionable suggestions:
1. Understand and forgive the people who brought shadow to your childhood
This doesn’t mean forgetting or denying the hurt they caused you, but rather viewing them from a more tolerant and objective perspective. They may also have their own childhood traumas, their own helplessness and dilemmas, and their own limitations and flaws. They hurt you not because you are bad or unworthy of love, but because of their own problems. When you are able to understand and forgive them, you are freed from the role of victim and regain your own power and choices.
2. Leave an environment that makes you feel less self-worth.
The environment has an important impact on an individual’s psychological state. If you are in an environment that is negative, depressive, criticizing, attacking, and denying you, then it will be difficult for you to feel your own value and significance. Therefore, if possible, try to stay away from people or situations that make you feel uncomfortable, unsafe, disrespected, or unsupportive. For example, at home, if your parents always only see your shortcomings and constantly blame and scold you, then you can try to maintain a certain distance and boundaries with them. The same goes for other relationships such as spouses, teachers, friends, etc.
3. Don’t leave and exclude people who appreciate you
Sometimes childhood shadows can lead to a false belief that you are not worthy of love or appreciation. Such beliefs can make people feel uncomfortable or disbelieving when they hear others praise or affirm them. They may even take the initiative to alienate those who truly care about and like them to avoid being seen through or betrayed by them. This is actually a way of self-protection, but it will make people miss a lot of beauty and warmth. Therefore, when you meet people who sincerely appreciate you, don’t reject or exclude them easily, but learn to accept and thank them. You will find that their praise and affirmation are not joking or intentional, but they sincerely recognize and respect you.
4. Cultivate your own interests and hobbies and find a sense of accomplishment from them
Everyone has things they are good at and like. These things can make people feel happy and satisfied, and can also let people show their talents and charm. Whether it is playing chess, painting, singing, writing, cooking, sports, etc., as long as it is something that interests you, it can become your hobby. You can improve your skills through learning and practicing, and you can also make friends with like-minded people through sharing and communication. When you find a sense of accomplishment and identity in your hobbies, your self-confidence will grow.
In short, the shadow of childhood is not an inescapable fate, but a challenge that can be healed and transcended. As long as you are willing and work hard, you can escape the shadow of childhood, rebuild your self-confidence, and become a healthier and happier person. If you encounter difficulties or need help during this process, you can also seek professional psychological consultation or treatment and let a professional psychologist accompany and guide you. I hope this article is helpful to you, and I wish you can find your own light as soon as possible.
You can try Free online psychological test: Childhood Emotional Neglect Assessment (CENQ). This test is compiled based on the Childhood Emotional Neglect Questionnaire (CENQ). This test Designed to help you assess whether you experienced emotional neglect as a child and understand the impact that current emotional neglect is having on your life. Emotional neglect refers to an individual’s emotional and emotional needs not receiving adequate attention, recognition and response during childhood, which may have long-term effects on the individual’s mental health and quality of life.
Link to this article: https://m.psyctest.cn/article/Bmd7VqxV/
If the original article is reprinted, please indicate the author and the source in the form of this link.
