Dependent Personality Disorder (DPD) is a common psychological problem that makes individuals strongly depend on the care and companionship of others. This dependence is not true love, but a blind, compulsive and irrational desire. Affected people often give up their interests and values, and will feel satisfied as long as they can find a support. However, this behavioral pattern may lead to individuals becoming lazy, vulnerable, lacking in opinion and creativity. At the same time, long periods of consentment and obedience may make them feel depressed and frustrated, and eventually lose their dreams and hobbies.
Typical manifestations of dependency personality disorder
If you meet the following five or more characteristics, you may have dependency personality disorder:
- Lack of decision-making ability and always rely on other people’s advice and assurances.
- Important life matters (such as residence, career choice, etc.) rely on others to arrange.
- Fear of being abandoned, even if you know that the other party is wrong, you dare not object and can only obey.
- Lack of independence and unable to make plans or complete tasks alone.
- Over-pleasing others, doing things you don’t like or shouldn’t do in order to please others.
- Can’t be alone, easily feel helpless and uneasy, try to avoid loneliness.
- You are prone to feeling broken and helpless after the intimacy is over.
- Continuous worry about being abandoned by others.
- Easy to be hurt by not being recognized or criticized.
How to overcome dependency personality disorder
1. Change dependency habits
Dependence is often a deeply rooted habit, so independence should be gradually cultivated. It is recommended to improve by following steps:
Record dependency behavior
Record every day you rely on others on what you do and what you do independently. After a week, these behaviors are divided into three categories:
- Things with strong sense of autonomy: For example, you choose clothes according to your preferences, rather than listening to others’ opinions. In similar situations, stick to your own decisions.
- Things that are moderately aware of autonomy: For example, when making a work plan, although you refer to your friend’s advice, you can try to express your ideas and gradually enhance your decision-making skills.
- Things with poor sense of autonomy: Try to add your own subjective opinions at the request of others to enhance your autonomy.
2. Build self-confidence
Simply changing habits may not be able to completely overcome the dependence personality, and building self-confidence is the key.
Eliminate the shadow of childhood
The formation of dependent personality may be related to childhood experiences. Many people with dependent personality have been negatively evaluated in childhood, such as ‘You can’t do anything’ and ‘You are too stupid, I’ll help you.’ These evaluations will cause individuals to doubt their abilities. It is recommended to review childhood experiences, find out the negative comments you have used, and try to re-examine them with rational thinking. Communicate with friends and family to give them positive encouragement when you try to be independent.
####Cultivate courage
Try to do something challenging and gradually build independence. For example:
- Travel alone or participate in social activities.
- Set ‘autonomous day’ to complete everything independently on this day without relying on others.
Through these practices, independence can be gradually enhanced and dependence on others can be reduced.
3. Conduct psychological test assessment
If you are not sure if you have dependency personality disorder, you can self-assess your psychological test:
-Fun Test: How deep are you dependent on him/her?
- Test whether you have strong dependence?
-Test your dependence on love
-What are your psychological weaknesses?
PsycTest official website (psychtest.cn) provides free online psychological assessments to help you understand your psychological characteristics more comprehensively.
Conclusion
Although dependency personality disorder can have an impact on life, it can be gradually improved through self-awareness, changing dependency habits, and building self-confidence and courage. It is important to maintain patience and perseverance, try more things done independently, and make yourself more autonomous. If further psychological support is needed, you can seek help from professional psychological counseling.
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