Buddhism’s birth and entry into the world
Buddhism believes that there are two choices in life: leaving the world and joining the world. To leave the world is to stay away from the mortal world and cut off family ties, just to cultivate and become a Buddha; to join the world is to save sentient beings and continue to do good deeds. From ancient times to the present, many people want to escape suffering and choose to become monks and become indifferent or lonely hermits. But from a psychological perspective, these reclusive people may have a psychological problem called avoidant personality. They are unwilling to face reality or communicate with others. They just want to be quiet. In fact, it is not abnormal to want to be alone sometimes, but it is a way to adjust your mood. People with truly avoidant personality do not dare to face their own inner problems. They always avoid difficulties and challenges and lack self-confidence and courage.
Test of avoidant personality
If you want to know if you have avoidant personality tendencies, you can take the following test:
- Are you easily hurt by criticism or disapproval from others?
- Do you have few or no true friends or confidants except family members?
- Do you always dare not take the initiative to participate in other people’s affairs unless you are sure that others will welcome you?
- Do you always try to avoid social activities or work that require interacting with other people?
- Do you always feel that you are inferior to others and seldom speak in social situations for fear of being laughed at or asked difficult questions by others?
- Are you always shy and sensitive, easily nervous and embarrassed in front of others?
- Do you always view things that are ordinary but outside of your accustomed range as difficult, dangerous, or risky?
If you answered yes to four or more of the seven questions above, you may have avoidant personality disorder.
Treatment methods for avoidant personality
If you’ve been diagnosed with avoidant personality disorder, don’t be discouraged; the problem is treatable. You can start with the following two areas:
1. Eliminate inferiority complex
Inferiority complex is the most fundamental cause of avoidant personality, so if you want to change this psychological state, you must first eliminate the inferiority complex. The specific methods are as follows:
(1) Understand yourself correctly, don’t always see your shortcomings and deficiencies, but also see your strengths and weaknesses.
(2) To correctly understand the impact of inferiority complex, you must know not only the troubles and troubles it will bring to you, but also the motivation it can inspire to make progress and improve yourself.
(3) Actively cheer and encourage yourself, do not always deny and belittle yourself, and believe in your abilities and potential.
2. Overcome barriers to interpersonal communication
People with avoidant personality have varying degrees of interpersonal barriers, so if you want to improve this situation, you must gradually increase your contact and communication with others. The specific methods are as follows:
Follow a structured plan and assign yourself tasks to make friends with others. At the beginning, the tasks are relatively simple and low in difficulty, and then slowly increase in difficulty and complexity. for example:
In the first week, chat with colleagues (or neighbors, relatives, roommates, etc.) every day for about ten minutes each time.
In the second week, chat with different people every day for about twenty minutes each time, and chat with one person for about ten minutes longer.
In the third week, keep the same chat time as last week and find a friend to talk to you. Don’t check the time and just chat casually.
In the fourth week, keep the chat time from last week and find a few friends to play together on the weekend. You can chat, eat, or go for a walk in the countryside.
In the fifth week, keep the chat time from last week and actively participate in some meaningful communication activities, which can be about thoughts, learning, skills, etc.
In the sixth week, keep the chat time from last week and try to interact with some unfamiliar or complete strangers.
Such a plan may seem simple, but it can be difficult to implement. So it’s best to find someone who can supervise you, let him check how much you have completed, and encourage you to stick to it. In fact, the tasks in the sixth week have exceeded the living standards of ordinary people, but as a treatment method, it is beneficial to be a little more intense. You may find these tasks difficult or boring when you first start doing them, but you must try to overcome these feelings to achieve good therapeutic results.
Free Online Psychological Test
Test the reasons for your inferiority complex
Test address: www.psyctest.cn/t/6wd90pxR/
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