In personality tests, ESFJs (extroversion, perception, emotion, judgment) are often called 'consul type'. They are enthusiastic, considerate, and responsible in interpersonal relationships, and even more so in intimate relationships. If you or your partner is of the ESFJ personality type, understanding their expressions in relationships and the language of love will make your relationship more stable and warm.
This article will explore the expression of ESFJ personality in love from multiple dimensions, and combine it with the framework of MBTI personality testing to help you better understand the emotional expression of this personality type. At the same time, if you don’t know your MBTI type yet, you can quickly get the results through PsycTest Quiz’s official free MBTI personality test .
What is the Word of Love?
'Word of Love' refers to the most common way we use when expressing love and feeling loved. Common words of love include:
- Words of affirmation
- Careful time
- Accept gifts
- Service behavior
- Physical contact
- Public expression
- Emotional support
Everyone’s preferences for expressing and receiving love are different, and MBTI personality types can provide us with many clues about preferences.
Recommended test: Love Word Test
The ESFJ personality of the love characteristics
Relative emotions, direct expression
ESFJ personality is extremely serious and responsible in love. They attach great importance to their commitments in their relationships and are willing to give, both in action and in emotion. They usually do not hide their emotions, but instead let their partners feel their concerns clearly through caring behaviors and warm words.
They like to surprise each other, remember each other’s important days, and arrange romantic events on holidays or anniversary. A typical ESFJ will not ignore any opportunity to express love.
The Language of Love: Service Act + Affirmative Word
ESFJ personality often expresses one's feelings through 'acts of service', such as:
- Prepare dinner for a busy day partner
- Take the initiative to help your partner deal with trivial matters
- Schedule a meaningful date
At the same time, they are also good at conveying love in words. They often say “I love you”, “I appreciate you in my life” and like to publicly express their compliments to their partners on social platforms.
Physical contact: an important way to connect emotionally
ESFJs tend to like physical contact, including holding hands, hugging, and snuggling. They use these gentle movements as bonds to maintain their feelings. It is not only an expression of emotions, but also a transmission of a sense of security.
It is observed that over 76% of individuals in the ESFJ personality prefer to express intimacy through physical contact, which is the highest among all 'Sentinel' types.
How ESFJ accepts love: Feeling seen and valued
While ESFJs are a “paying personality,” this does not mean they don’t desire to be responded. They often do a lot of things silently but rarely ask for rewards. If their efforts have been overlooked for a long time, it is easy to feel lost or not cherished.
Therefore, when you get along with ESFJ, “identity and gratitude” is the key word of love:
- Express gratitude, such as “Thank you for doing these things for me”
- Give affirmation in public, such as praising them in circles of friends or parties
- Give them enough time to accompany them without complicated arrangements, even if they have a meal together
What they seek in a relationship is companionship, affirmation, and stability of love. They don't expect you to do a lot for them, but hope you can 'in' their lives.
Why is it important to understand ESFJ's Word of Love?
In intimate relationships, many misunderstandings come from 'mismatch in the way of expressing love.' You may have expressed a lot, but the way is not the other party’s preferred way, which creates the illusion of “you don’t love me enough”.
Understanding the way ESFJ personality is expressed in love can help you communicate and get along more effectively, so that your relationship can be twice the result with half the effort.
If you want to know more about personality types of love expressions, you might as well read our MBTI advanced personality profile , which has deeper content and more realistic scenes, and can also help you understand your partner or yourself more comprehensively.
Conclusion: Communication is the prerequisite for understanding
Although ESFJ has its typical behavior pattern, everyone is unique. It is recommended that you take the content of this article as a starting point, rather than the final answer. You can complete the free MBTI personality test on PsycTest Quiz official website (psychtest.cn) with your partner, and start a deep conversation about personality and feelings.
The only thing about love is not “how I express it”, but “how we understand it.” Understanding the Word of Love is the first step to understanding.
Further reading
Article tags :
MBTI test, MBTI official free version, 16 personality test, Myers-Briggs personality test free, free MBTI test, personality test, interpersonal personality, ESFJ love performance, consul-type personality analysis, MBTI love personality type analysis
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