Have you ever said to yourself, 'Why am I so stupid?'
You are not alone.
When work is not going well, emotional problems, and social frustrations, many people can't help but 'bite themselves'. But excessive self-negation will not only not make us better, but will gradually destroy our confidence and self-esteem, and even cause long-term anxiety and depression.
From the perspective of MBTI personality, different types of people will have different degrees and ways of 'self-criticism' when facing failures and setbacks. Some people are so strict that they are almost self-abuse, while others are calm on the surface but are in a state of mind.
This article will not make big sense, but will help you find a solution that suits you. Don’t forget that you can complete a free MBTI personality test portal on PsycTest Quiz official website (psychtest.cn) , understand what personality type you belong to, and further explore how your 'self-criticism model' came into being.
Self-criticism ≠self-growth
Of course we need to reflect and grow. But 'reflection' is with gentle honesty, while 'criticism' is often a harsh judgment. When you regard 'perfection' as the only criterion, every mistake becomes a reason to deny yourself.
Then the question is: Why do you treat yourself so harshly? Why do you never give yourself a little tolerant, understanding and encouragement to others?
To crack this 'psychological attack cycle', we can start by understanding our MBTI personality type. People with different personalities step on the 'self-denial trap' they step on is also different.
MBTI Analyst Type (NT Class): The Logical Trap of Perfectionism
MBTI analyst types include: INTJ , INTP , ENTJ , ENTP
Keywords: logic, rationality, self-driven, high standards
MBTI analytical personality often thinks that 'any problem can be solved' as long as you are smart enough. But when reality doesn't give face and the result is not as expected, their first reaction is often: 'What did I do wrong?' or even: 'I can't do it at all.'
For them, self-negation is not emotional, but a 'reasoning result'. The accuracy of their deduction of failure logic often means that they can hit their own accuracy.
If you have an NT personality:
- Learning to accept 'uncontrollable factors' does not mean failure;
- Ask yourself: 'Are I so harsh to my friends? Then why do you have to be zero tolerance for yourself?'
- Try practicing 'unconditional self-affirmation', even if it sounds like pseudo-philosophy.
MBTI Idealist (NF category): The hardest hit area of emotional internal friction
MBTI idealist types include: INFJ , INFP , ENFJ , ENFP
Keywords: ideal, empathy, self-sacrifice, pursuit of meaning
MBTI NF personality is naturally gentle and kind, and is easy to perceive other people's emotions, but it also bears too much responsibility. They deny themselves not because of failure, but because they feel guilty for 'not doing their best' or 'not taking good care of others.'
They are the kind of people who are most likely to say to themselves, “I’m not good enough.”
If you have an NF personality:
- Try to accept that “the imperfect people can do warm things”;
- Don’t just use “empathy” on others, you deserve your own understanding and comfort;
- Replace unattainable 'ideal setting' with more realistic goals.
MBTI Guardian Type (SJ Class): Pressure Cooker with Overresponsibility
MBTI Guardian types include: ISTJ , ISFJ , ESTJ , ESFJ
Keywords: Responsibility, order, stability, execution
MBTI SJ personality is often the most reliable member of the team, and they always carry the burden and complete the tasks seriously. But once the task fails, the family has problems, and the plan is derailed, it is easy for them to take all the responsibility on themselves - even if the mistake is not on themselves.
They hate 'failure' and even more 'to disappoint others.' Over time, they became the most ruthless bosses to themselves.
If you have an SJ personality:
- Distinguish the boundaries between 'responsibility' and 'self-blame';
- Acknowledging that pressure exists does not mean that you are vulnerable, but that you are human;
- Give yourself some space and let others learn to be independent.
MBTI Explorer Type (SP category): 'Free Range' under inner fluctuations
MBTI explorer types include: ISTP , ISFP , ESTP , ESFP
Keywords: freedom, present, sensory experience, breaking away from the rules
MBTI SP-like personality seems chic, but in fact they will also fall into a 'self-blame floating feeling'. Especially after three minutes of work, frequent job change, and relationship breakdown, they will have the doubt of 'I have accomplished nothing.'
They don’t like to be bound by rules, but they are afraid of being labeled as “unresponsible” because of this, so they deny themselves in contradictions.
If you have an SP personality:
- Don’t use other people’s standards to evaluate your own pace of life;
- 'Persistence' is not the only measure, and 'trying' and 'exploring' are equally worthy of pride;
- Summarize your list of achievements, maybe more than you think.
In addition to personality, this key point affects your self-denial
In addition to the MBTI type, whether it is 'too sensitive' or 'always feel that you are not good enough' is also related to your personality 'identity level'. In the MBTI system, people's personality is divided into 'assertive' and 'turbulent'.
MBTI turbulent personality is more likely to have emotional fluctuations and self-negation, while confident personality is more inclined to rationally analyze and less emotional collapse. Of course, this is not determinism of fate, but a dimension that you can perceive and grow.
You can learn whether you are a 'turbulent' in PsycTest Quiz's MBTI Advanced Personality Profile and get personalized adjustment suggestions.
You deserve to look at yourself gently
You have been with yourself so far, why not try to improve your relationship with yourself?
Stop 'angry at yourself' is not a cowardly indulgence, but a mature awareness. There is no good or bad personality, but the 'way of looking at yourself' can change.
If you want to know yourself better, please go to PsycTest Quiz official website (psychtest.cn) to complete the free MBTI test portal and get your personality type analysis report. At the same time, you can also enter the MBTI Advanced Personality Archive to explore deeper growth maps and behavioral suggestions.
Next time I want to say to myself, 'I'm such a waste,' I might as well stop and ask:
'Would I be willing to speak this to my friend?'
If the answer is no, please treat yourself well. You are already very good.
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