Among the MBTI personality types, advocates (ENFPs) are often considered one of the most likely people to fall into love. They are happy to establish deep connections with all kinds of people, whether they are ordinary friends or work partners. But when it comes to romantic partners, advocates will tell you that the experience is unparalleled. This kind of personality is devoted to love with unparalleled enthusiasm and optimism, and truly loves love itself.
However, turbulent advocates (ENFP-T) often come with a lot of uneasiness and unconfidence in relationships, which are problems rarely arise with firm advocates (ENFP-A). This uneasiness can sometimes induce shared dependence beliefs and behavior patterns.
The so-called shared dependence means that a person 'needs' by the other party in a relationship and assumes the role of a caregiver or a redeemer. This dynamic is extremely destructive to both sides, even if the common dependencies have a good intention. As we will discuss in this article, advocates who tend to be emotionally sensitive and turbulent traits tend to show a tendency to co-dependent.
Get rid of loneliness
ENFP-T is sincere in other people’s interests, but sometimes they tend to over-focus on each other because of their inner insecurity. Deep inside them, they long to be liked and recognized. They are one of the most likely types of personality to worry about being rejected, and once they encounter rejection, they will have great emotions. This fear made them try to avoid being abandoned in the early stages of their relationship.
Even if you enter a stable relationship, ENFP-T may still show flattering behavior to avoid conflicts in order to prevent the relationship from breaking down. They are one of the most difficult types to be alone, so they often work hard to repair broken relationships and even endure unhappy feelings in order not to be alone. For them, their own value often depends on the degree to which others need and like, which is exactly the typical mentality of the common dependants.
Without warning, this desire for recognition may undermine the kind of sincere and healthy love they desire.
Unlimited love and passion
ENFP-T usually expresses emotions frankly, and they like to “hang their feelings on their faces”, which reflects their sense of security in the relationship. They express their love in a sentimental, passionate, and even somewhat sentimental way, and are often overwhelmed by the waves of love. Especially in the early stages of love, they enjoy the feeling of being loved and chasing love very much. Surveys show that this type of personality is one of the people who love the love process and the feeling of falling in love the most.
For ENFP-T, the ups and downs of love seem like a harmless game, but this passion sometimes makes them ignore the warning signs in boundaries and feelings. As extremely optimistic types, they often cannot see the common dependence trap they may fall into, and may even mistakenly think that this is dedication and loyalty to their partners.
Selfless self-sacrifice
In a common dependency relationship, a person often focuses most of his attention on taking care of his partner, but ignores his own needs. Many ENFP-Ts have a deep understanding. Advocates often over-analyze other people's emotions and thoughts, and even ignore their own needs. To understand the true intentions of a partner, they may gradually become disconnected from their own wishes.
This also explains why ENFP-T is more likely to feel that it is sacrificed too much for others than average. They also tend to feel guilty for showing “selfishness”, but this “selfishness” and “self-care” are often confused. As a result, they neglected their own care and instead devoted all their energy to each other. This imbalance is very likely to evolve into a breeding ground for common dependencies.
Conclusion: Establish healthy dependence and stay away from shared dependence
ENFP-T longs for that kind of fantastic romantic love, they are willing to give everything for it, and even ignore their own feelings and needs. In this 'wholehearted' love, they are easily trapped in a state of similar common dependence, which may destroy their painstakingly managed relationship.
However, as we mentioned in the shared dependence topic, learning to balance loving others and loving yourself is the key to getting rid of shared dependence and building a healthy dependence relationship. If turbulent advocates can do this, they may gain a deeper and more solid emotional bond than they thought.
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To learn more about ENFP personality, you can read the following article:
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Related recommended readings:
- Introduction to MBTI Type 16 Personality Test and Its Application Value
- Free MBTI Test: Know Your Real Self
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