In the world of MBTI personality type, self-expression is very different for different people. The ESFJ is usually considered to be a type that is easier to express itself due to its extraverted and emotional traits. They are often like 'living open books', and they clearly show their true selves regardless of their words and deeds.
This openness is particularly evident in romantic relationships, where the consul desires deep and sincere emotional communication with his partner to establish a close sense of connection and belonging. However, even so, they still face many challenges in interpersonal communication, especially when expressing personal boundaries and maintaining their own needs.
This article will analyze the communication difficulties of the consul ESFJ personality in love and how these difficulties affect their self-expression.
What are boundaries?
Boundaries refer to the rules and expectations that we expressly or unspecified in our relationship, and are the boundaries that we are willing to accept and unwilling to accept. In a romantic relationship, the boundaries of health are the key to ensuring respect and happiness between both parties. If you want to know more about boundaries, you can refer to our special article 'Love You, but Can't Do This: Boundaries, Love and Personality Types'.
Communication characteristics of the consul ESFJ
The senator ESFJ belongs to the guardian role in MBTI. They focus on reality and details and have the qualities of extrovert, observational, emotional and judgmental. These traits make them attach great importance to the art of communication, viewing communication as the core of maintaining social relations.
ESFJs are usually happy to express their opinions and expectations, but are quite sensitive to avoid touching on topics that may cause conflict or discomfort. Because of this, the consul can easily connect with people of all personalities, and is very good at observing each other's emotions and adjusting their communication methods.
ESFJ is also an active listener, good at encouraging others with words and giving constructive advice. But emotional type is often not good at facing the 'hard-core truth' directly, and would rather remain kind, or choose to say what the other person wants to hear or even be silent.
Why does ESFJ hesitate to express himself in love?
On the one hand, ESFJ is good at creating a harmonious atmosphere, and on the other hand, this 'good intention' may also become an obstacle to their healthy communication. In close relationships, they tend to focus more on their partner’s needs and ignore their own voice.
Social herd psychology
As the guardian, the consuls tend to maintain group harmony and avoid 'making waves'. They will carefully consider how to express their opinions, and tend to abide by social norms and behave in line with everyone's expectations. This herd mentality makes them face difficulties in intimate relationships: if they feel that their needs are 'unconventional' or 'unreasonable', they are likely to choose to remain silent and avoid discomfort.
The tendency to please others
ESFJ is born to be flattering, especially in love. As emotional personality, they are extremely afraid of their partner’s displeasure and conflict. In order to maintain the stability of the relationship, you often sacrifice yourself and even make excuses for your partner's misconduct.
Compared with Assertive consul ESFJ-A, anxiety consul ESFJ-T is more likely to fall into the trap of self-sacrifice because they are more afraid of being rejected and worried that expressing true thoughts will have negative consequences.
Romantic idealism
Although ESFJ has a strong sense of reality, they will also have fairy tale-like romantic fantasies in the face of love. Through meticulous care, sincere praise, and efforts to make their partners happy, they express their love in a very generous way.
But this also led to ESFJ's choice to ignore the problems in his partner for the ideal 'love appearance', and dare not point out the red flag, fearing that he would 'request more' to destroy his ideals. As a result, problems and dissatisfaction are often buried in the heart.
Conclusion
It should be emphasized that the above challenges are not the personality defects of the consul, but the double-edged sword effect of its traits. Everyone has different performances. Some ESFJs can balance well and express their boundaries healthily; while others may fall into a pattern of flattery and self-sacrifice and have difficulty expressing their true thoughts.
In addition, a person's communication methods are also affected by multiple factors such as life experience and growth environment. Personality is just one of the factors that affect.
If you are an ESFJ, please think: What personality traits do you think are hindering healthy self-expression? What are the advantages that help you maintain good communication with your partner? Welcome to share your views in the comment section.
If you want to know more about in-depth interpretations of MBTI personality types, please recommend reading:
- Detailed Analysis of MBTI ENFP Personality
-More ENFP personality interpretation
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