Why do we care about other people’s likes?
Do you often post photos, texts or videos of yourself on social media and then expect to receive likes, comments or attention from others? Do you feel these numbers reflect your value and popularity? Do you get frustrated or angry because you receive negative feedback? If your answer is yes, you are not alone. In this article, we’ll explore the impact social media has on our psyches and why we so crave validation and acceptance from others.
We all want to belong to a group
Social media is an emerging medium that allows us to share our lives with people around the world. But this motivation to share is nothing new. From ancient times to the present, human beings have had a strong sense of belonging, that is, wanting to be part of a group and gain recognition and respect from others. This sense of belonging is a basic human need that plays an important role in our survival and reproduction. In ancient times, belonging to a group improved our sense of security and access to resources, while being accepted by potential mates increased our ability to reproduce.
Our brains are sensitive to social feedback
Our emphasis on social feedback comes not only from our history but also from our biology. Scientific research has found that our brains have a specialized network that processes and evaluates social information. When we receive positive social feedback, such as likes, compliments, or encouragement, this network activates our reward centers, making us feel happy and satisfied. When we receive negative social feedback, such as criticism, ridicule, or rejection, this network activates our pain centers, making us feel sad and depressed. This network exists throughout our lives, even forming when we are children. Moreover, this network is influenced by our environment, that is, the people and things around us influence our sensitivity and response to social feedback.
We will retaliate for rejection
Our sensitivity to social feedback is also reflected in our behavior. Not only do we feel happy when others like us, we also feel angry when others dislike us. Some people may even develop violent and revengeful tendencies as a result of being bullied and ostracized for a long time. For example, some school shooters have experienced abuse by their peers. Even brief rejection can make us more aggressive. If we have the opportunity to retaliate against the person who gave us negative feedback, we will be more inclined to do so. However, we also have the ability to control our aggression, which depends on an area of our brain called the frontal cortex. This area helps us suppress our impulses and emotions, making us more rational and calm. Some studies have found that stimulating this area can reduce our aggressive behavior.
Social media is a double-edged sword
Therefore, all our efforts on social media are actually to satisfy our sense of belonging. Social media is a new way of displaying our status in society. It’s faster, simpler, and more direct than real-life social interactions. A recent Nature Communications article discusses the impact of this powerful media on our brains, in which Eveline Crone and Elly Konijn highlight the need for future scientific research on social media. The internet gives us access to more people, which means we have more opportunities to make friends and gain visibility… but it also means we have more risk of being rejected and attacked. So, I hope this article gets your thumbs up and gives you a deeper understanding of social media!
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