Society is a complex stage, everyone is playing a role, and problems follow: How to deal with praise? How to escape from the inclination? How to integrate into the circle without being inferior? I hope you can use these 20 hard-core experiences to avoid pitfalls.
1. Psychological Cognition and Inner Practice
1. Don't believe others' praise for no reason
Think more about his motives for compliment. Some people may be trying to get close to each other, flatter, use you or frame you. Don't be confused by the sweet words on the surface, stay awake and alert.
2. Don't try to satisfy everyone
You are a human being or not, especially those you don’t like. There is no need to let yourself down to satisfy them. There is no one in this world that everyone can like and recognize. If you always want to please others, you will only make yourself hypocritical and tired, and you will also lose your personality and value. A pleasing personality will eventually only exhaust yourself. So, just be yourself. As long as you don’t hurt others, you have the right to live as you wish.
3. Change yourself the most efficient way: do what you are afraid of
Many times we want to change ourselves, but we are afraid of the difficulties and challenges brought by change. We always find excuses to escape or postpone doing things that we think are difficult or scary. But doing so will only stop us from moving forward or even regressing. If we really want to change ourselves, then we must be brave enough to face the things we fear and try to overcome them. Doing so will not only increase our confidence and experience, but will also allow us to discover our potential abilities and potential.
4. Don't be nervous in public
Everyone is very busy, and following your phone is much higher than following you. So, just relax and be more natural, you don’t have any audience. Some people feel nervous or uncomfortable in public, maybe because they are worried about other people's gaze or comments. But in fact, most of the time, others don’t care so much about your every move. They care more about their own affairs, such as their own mobile phones, their own work, their own family, etc. Therefore, you don’t have to care too much about other people’s opinions, nor do you have to deliberately express or hide yourself. Just relax and be more natural, you don’t have any audience.
5. Don’t overestimate your strength and lower your expectations
In this way, when you do something, even if you complete it properly, you will not be hit and unable to recover. Many times we will set a high goal or standard for ourselves and then work hard to achieve it. But if we do not have enough ability or conditions to achieve it, we will encounter many difficulties, setbacks, and even failures. Such results will make us feel disappointed, frustrated and self-blame. Therefore, before doing something, we must first understand our strengths and weaknesses, and reasonably set a feasible and suitable goal or standard. Doing this allows us to complete tasks more focused and efficiently, and to deal with problems more calmly and flexibly.
6. Learn to control complaints and vent emotions
No one has the obligation to bear your pain. We will encounter some unhappy or unhappy things, and sometimes we will want to find someone to talk to or vent. But we must note that not everyone is willing or suitable to listen to our complaints or vent. Some people may feel that you are annoyed or weak, some may use your information or emotions to deal with you, and some may be infected by your negative energy. Therefore, when choosing a partner to express or vent, you should consider it carefully. It is best to find those who truly care about you, understand you, and support you. At the same time, you must also learn to self-regulate and not rely too much on others, but find some ways that suit you to release stress and negative emotions.
2. Interpersonal relationships and Circle Ecology
7. As long as one party is too strong in any relationship, you must let go
It can effectively avoid workplace and love PUA. If you find yourself in a passive or controlled position in a certain relationship, then you are likely to be manipulated or exploited by the other party. Such a relationship will not only hurt your self-esteem and confidence, but will also make you lose yourself and direction. Therefore, break off such a relationship in time and regain your initiative and dignity.
8. Don't force yourself to blend in some circles
When you don’t have enough ability, the circle will not open completely towards you, and you will feel uncomfortable. Each circle has its own rules and thresholds. If you want to enter a certain circle, you must have the corresponding abilities and qualities. Otherwise, you will only be looked down upon or rejected by people in the circle, and you will also feel inferior and uncomfortable. So, before pursuing entering a certain circle, first ask yourself if you really like this circle and whether you have enough strength and preparation. The premise of integrating the circle is value matching, otherwise you are just a tool person.
9. Don't argue with fools
A waste of time, summer insects cannot speak of ice. Some people just don’t reason. No matter what you say, they won’t listen, and they will even attack you in turn. Arguing with such people will only reduce your level and IQ, and it will not change their views and attitudes. So, when you meet someone like this, the best way is to ignore them, or just say 'you're right' and then walk away.
10. Don't be a good teacher
Everyone understands the great principles, and few people like to be taught condescendingly. If you want to give others some advice or help, you should first consider whether the other party needs or is willing to listen, and whether you have sufficient qualifications and experience to say these words. Otherwise, you will only make the other person feel disgusted or bored, and will also expose your ignorance and conceit. Listen more, talk less, and respect others' growth paths.
11. Don't look down on anyone
Many people wearing slippers may be multi-millionaires. A person cannot behave like a person. You cannot judge his value and ability based on his appearance, occupation, education, wealth, etc. Some people may look ordinary or low-key, but they may have extraordinary talents or achievements. Some people may look noble or proud, but they may just rely on luck or relationships. Therefore, don’t easily evaluate or discriminate against others, and don’t easily envy or worship others.
12. No need to nod and bow to others at any time
Being neither humble nor being arrogant is the best state of life. The more humble a person is, the more likely he is to be bullied. As the same goes, people like to pick soft persimmons. You are a person with dignity and value, and you don’t need to give up your principles and positions in order to please or cater to others. If you always be humble to others, you will only make others look down on you or bully you, and you will also lose your backbone and belief. Therefore, when interacting with others, you must maintain confidence and politeness, and do not be too humble or obedient, but insist on your own opinions and rights.
Self-protection and boundary maintenance
13. Don't tell others before things come true
Some people may tell others what they are doing or what they plan to do in advance because of excitement or nervousness. But doing so may cause you some trouble or risk. For example, some people may be jealous of you or obstruct you, some people may take the lead or take your chances, and some people may have unnecessary expectations or pressure on you. So, it is best to keep a low profile and silent before things are determined, and not to easily reveal your plans or progress. Similarly, don’t easily admit your mistakes or failures before you know the overall situation, because some problems may not be caused by you, or you still have a chance to recover them.
14. Don't put happiness on others
If someone else gives you, you need to nod and bow to pick it up. One day you are dissatisfied with people, he can kick you away at any time. Happiness is a subjective feeling that depends on your attitude and satisfaction with yourself and your life. If you always expect others to give you happiness, then you will lose your initiative and judgment, and you will become dependent and weak. What others give you, whether material or spiritual, is conditional and restrictive. They can change their minds or retract their promises at any time, leaving you in disappointment and despair. Therefore, don’t place happiness on others, but rely on yourself to create and enjoy.
15. Have a sense of awe
When you meet old foxes and those elites in high positions, don’t think about being clever. It is safest to be a fool. There are many experienced, skilled and prominent people in society. They may be your boss, customers, partners, competitors, etc. If you meet such a person, don't think you can play tricks with them or take advantage of them. They see further, think deeper, and do more ruthlessly than you. Your cleverness may be a pediatrician in their eyes. Therefore, when encountering such a person, the best way is to maintain awe and humility, and not to challenge or offend them easily, but to respect their opinions and decisions and try to do their duty as much as possible.
16. When facing people who infringe on your rights, be stubborn
The harder your thorns are and the more thunderous your thorns are, the less those soft eggs dare to invade you. There are many unreasonable, law-abiding and immoral people in society who may use various means to infringe on your interests or dignity. If you are too gentle or tolerant to such people, you will only make them worse and will also cause greater harm to yourself. Therefore, when encountering such people, you must dare to resist and fight, and use laws, principles and strength to protect yourself and punish them.
17. Don't leave your back to anyone who has deceived you
Note that it is 'don't do it once'. Don’t be lucky. Those who deceive you once will often deceive you the second time. Trust is a very precious and fragile thing. Once betrayed or destroyed, it will be difficult to restore or rebuild. If a person has deceived you once, then he has proved that he is not worthy of your trust or respect. If you give him another chance or forgive him, then he may think you are easy to deceive or bully, and lie to you or hurt you again. Therefore, after discovering that someone has deceived you, you must immediately cut off contact with him and do not give him any more opportunities or excuses.
Realistic operation and workplace survival
18. There are two ways to escape from the intra-curve: either go decisively or reduce desire
Involuntary is a common phenomenon in today's society. It refers to the fact that in a fiercely competitive environment, people are constantly increasing their investment in order to compete for limited resources, but their returns are getting less and less. Such an environment can make people feel anxious, depressed and powerless. If you want to escape the inversion, you can choose to change to a relatively small field or region, or adjust your expectations and desires, and don’t blindly follow the trend or compare.
19. Take your family for a physical examination and buy insurance when financial conditions are acceptable
I take my family for a physical examination every year. The sooner I buy insurance for myself and my family, the better. Health is the basis of everything. If you or your family are sick, your work, study, and life will be affected. Therefore, it is very necessary and important to have regular physical examinations and promptly detect and treat physical problems. At the same time, buying insurance for yourself and your family is also a kind of planning and guarantee for the future, which can relieve economic pressure and burden when encountering accidents or major diseases.
20. Learn to invest and manage finance and save mandatory
The former can help you make money, while the latter can save your life at critical moments. Don’t let your income never run out of inflation, and don’t let yourself “exhaust the ammunition and food” at critical moments. Although money is not omnipotent, it is absolutely impossible to do without money. If you want to grow your wealth, you can’t just rely on salary or income to support your life, but learn to make money with money. Investment and financial management can allow your money to flow in the market and gain more profits. Of course, investment also has risks, so you need to choose the right investment method and product based on your risk tolerance and goals. In addition, forced savings are also a good financial management habit. They can help you develop a sense of saving and planning, and leave yourself with an emergency fund, which can be dealt with in a timely manner when encountering emergencies.
Conclusion: In a complex society, living a clear life is the real ability
Social rules are not always written on paper, but those who understand have long been internalized into action logic. These 20 social experiences do not make you sophisticated, but make you have boundaries, judgments and plans. Living one's dignity in a complex society is more valuable than anything else.
If this article hits you, collect it and at a certain point in the future, it will help you avoid unnecessary pitfalls again.
Related free psychological test recommendations:
- Social transparency test: How well do you understand the worldly ways?
- Independent Personality Index Test: How sober are you? Can you not be influenced by the world?
- Test how high your realism index is?
- Interpersonal boundary test: Test whether you are prone to being 'used' by others?
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