Have you ever had this experience:
Friends who were once close were gradually alienated from each other, and in the end they were only a photo of the circle of friends that they occasionally browse, a message that they didn’t like, and a chat record that they couldn’t reply. They become the 'familiar strangers' in your life.
You think about 'contact another day', but this 'contact another day' will take several months, or even years.
This is particularly common for an introvert . Although I cherish friendship, I always slow down in my actions; I clearly want to take the initiative, but I still remain unmoved because of shyness, anxiety, and even guilt.
Then, the question is:
How can introverts effectively maintain interpersonal relationships?
How to break the 'familiar stranger' model and rebuild a real connection?
How do introverts in the MBTI type 16 personality view 'stay in touch'?
Today, PsycTest Quiz (psychtest.cn) will provide you with in-depth analysis of introverts’ interpersonal maintenance problems and will take you to find your personality type with the free MBTI personality test portal , so as to deal with this “silent alienation” more strategically.
Introverted personality: Why is it always difficult to actively contact others?
In MBTI type 16 personality, typical introvert types such as INFJ, INFP, ISTJ, INTP, etc. are more inclined to:
- Recovering energy while being alone
- Deep relationships outweigh widespread social interactions
- Emotionally sensitive but restrained expression
- Worry about disturbing others, fear of being misunderstood or rejection
Therefore, even if you are obsessed with someone, you often just silently browse his social media instead of sending a message. Eventually, the relationship faded out of sight in silence.
You may think in your mind: 'Wait until I have time' and 'wait for me to be in better condition', but this 'to talk about it later' thinking pattern often becomes a breeding ground for the decline of friendship.
Social Media: Illusion of Connection, Trap of Distance
We think that WeChat, Weibo, Moments, and Instagram can help us 'stay in touch', but in fact they accelerate our emotional disconnection with people.
You may see the other person's updates every day and see him going to travel, promotion, or party. But you never really interacted , let alone in deep conversations. This 'passive attention' makes you feel a false sense of intimacy, but invisibly gives up the opportunity to communicate.
To make matters worse, introverts also think of various negative plots:
- 'He has such a lively circle of friends, so he shouldn't be short of me as a friend.'
- 'I haven't been in touch for so long, would you think I'm very strange?'
- 'He sent the message saying 'Don't think that someone who only needs me,' did he say that?'
In fact, the other party may not care so much about these things, but we ourselves are trapped in place by social anxiety and self-denial .
The real reason for procrastination: guilt + anxiety + perfectionism
It’s not that you don’t care about this friend, you’re just struggling:
- Do you want to explain why you didn’t contact us?
- Do you have to think of a 'right reason' to send a message?
- If it is sent and cannot be read back, isn’t it embarrassing?
So, the message was not posted, but the Moments circle was secretly browsed a hundred times.
Introverts often attach too much importance to the 'quality of contact' and do not want to start a 'possible failure' conversation. But many times, the other party is really just waiting for you to say 'How are you doing recently?'
Therefore, stop brain-sucking and replace self-negation with real expression .
You can say:
'I suddenly remembered you recently and wanted to know how you are doing.'
'Long time no see, I'm a little ashamed, I always remember you.'
You don't need a perfect opening, you don't need the right opportunity, a simple greeting is enough.
Differences in the performance of MBTI type personality in 'maintaining relationships'
We can use the Myers-Briggs personality type test free entrance to understand which MBTI personality type you are, and adjust the way we communicate and maintain feelings based on this:
- INFP, INFJ : We value feelings but are afraid of disturbing others. We recommend that you send private messages every once in a while without waiting for 'the emotions are just right.'
- ISTJ, ISFJ : It tends to follow the rules, and it is easy to feel rude because of 'not in touch for too long'. In fact, the later you contact, the harder it is to speak. It is better to do it now.
- INTP, INTJ : The social energy is low and the focus is on thinking connection. It is recommended to use topics to enter, such as 'I saw something you may like recently.'
- ISFP, ISTP : casual but sensitive, suitable for restarting contact with small interesting things, photos, and chance encounters in life.
📖 Want to further understand your personality strengths, social blind spots, and communication style? It is recommended to check MBTI's advanced personality profile to obtain more detailed personality reports and interpersonal suggestions to help you find a social rhythm and expression that suits you more.
How do introverts build a “sustainable social” strategy?
Maintaining relationships is like fitness - there is no effect in a short period of time, but persistence for a long time can bring about qualitative change.
You can try:
- Send a greeting message every week, without having to be too long, 'What are you busy with recently?'
- Comments on friends' circles and like social updates are not only interactions, but also a sense of existence reminder
- Record the birthdays and special events of important friends, and express concern in a timely manner
- Don't be afraid of repeated contacts. If the other party doesn't reply, it doesn't mean that he is unwilling to respond to you.
Even the frequency of 'talking for a few words' is better than the embarrassment of 'never say it'.
Remember: the cost of maintaining a relationship is much lower than the cost of rebuilding it.
Not every friendship must be kept, but what is worth keeping should not disappear due to silence
You can revisit your social relationships:
- Who do you still miss me?
- Who are you missing out on your contact not because you forget it, but because you don’t know how to speak?
Go and contact them. Don't wait for 'ready', you can do it now.
Many relationships in life start over from 'long-lost'.
At the end: Use MBTI to help you break 'social internal friction'
If you are often in the dilemma of 'wanting to contact but not daring to disturb', then you might as well do a free MBTI official personality test to understand which introvert type you prefer, how your communication style, emotional expression preferences, and interpersonal interaction energy work.
When you understand yourself, you will not easily fall into misunderstandings and internal friction, and it will be easier to re-establish connections in the right way.
You can also start from the 16-type personality test and enter the social rhythm that truly suits you, no longer forceful or embarrassing.
Also want to have a deeper understanding of the performance of specific personality types in terms of intimacy, social style, self-expression, etc.? Welcome to read: MBTI Type 16 Personality Advanced Personality File
📌 PsycTest Quiz official website (psychtest.cn) provides you with rich personality tests, personality exploration tools and MBTI related content, helping you understand yourself more scientifically and deeply and understand interpersonal relationships.
Doing a personality test may help you take the first step in contact.
👉 Experience now: MBTI official free test portal
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