We often say that 'it's really hard to get together with different values.' This is not only a sentiment on social networks, but also a psychological driving force hidden behind the choice of a romantic relationship. When choosing a spouse, many people do not only value the other person's appearance, personality or interests, but also care about whether the two people have a spiritual resonance .
You may not have heard of a noun: homogeneity of conceptual mate choice . Simply put, it means that people with similar worldviews, spiritual ideas or life beliefs are more inclined to attract each other and enter intimate relationships . And those two people who have significant differences in their life beliefs, even if they are in harmony in other aspects, are more likely to gradually drift away due to the 'discordence of the three views'.
Difference in concept: How do you view 'conservative' partners with an open personality?
A study by the University of Otago in New Zealand pointed out that those with a strong spiritual belief system are often regarded as 'more traditional' and 'lack of exploration' by liberal and open personality groups. In modern psychology, 'openness' is considered an important dimension in personality traits that determine whether a person is willing to come into contact with new ideas and deeply think.
This type of group believes that only openness can lead to growth ; and in their eyes, people who are more conservative and orderly may lack the ability to accept new things and are therefore not regarded as ideal companions.
But the problem is that this kind of judgment is often based on subjective feelings, not objective facts. In other words, this is a kind of 'perception bias' , and not everyone who pays attention to order and tradition in life is not open-minded.
MBTI personality type: determines that you prefer 'rational exploration' or 'rule order'?
Through PsycTest Quiz's official free MBTI personality test , we can clearly identify individual differences in personality traits. In the 16-type personality, people's thinking, communication, and belief systems show significant differences, and these differences precisely determine how we view the 'spiritual level' in terms of fit.
Here are the trends of MBTI's 16 personality types in mental tendencies and partner choice:
- Order-oriented (such as: ISFJ , ESFJ ) : tends to follow a structured lifestyle, have stable and conservative values, and are prone to establish in-depth relationships with people who also attach equal importance to rules and have stable life plans.
- Free exploration type (such as ENFP , INFP ) : longs for spiritual freedom and sense of meaning, and is prone to pursuing spiritual connections rather than surface fit. They tend to find partners who can resonate with themselves in their 'life philosophy'.
- Critical analytical type (such as: INTJ , ENTP ) : Likes to think about the issues of the spiritual system from the logical and rational level, and does not blindly follow or believe it easily. In relationships, they value the matching degree of thinking. 👉 ,
- Realist (such as ESTJ , ISTJ ) : It emphasizes seeking truth from facts, and pays more attention to 'whether it is guiding for real life' in terms of spiritual concepts, which is suitable for establishing relationships with partners who emphasize practicality.
Spiritual resonance ≠ Consistent beliefs, more about cognition and understanding methods
We need to note that 'spiritual connection' is not the same as 'the same faith' or 'completely consistent worldview'. Many open-minded individuals do not need the other party to have the same philosophy as themselves, but they will pay special attention to whether the other party can understand and respect their unique spiritual pursuits .
For example, an ENFP may not rely on any traditional belief system, but she hopes that the other party can at least appreciate her exploration of 'meaning' and 'growth'; while an ISTJ may not need the other party to be emotional and romantic, but he hopes that the other party will be down-to-earth and have clear life goals.
This is essentially still a matter of personality matching.
Want to know what kind of MBTI personality you have? Come here to test it
If you are also thinking: 'What kind of person is suitable for me?' or 'Why do you always encounter partners with disagreeable ideas?' It is recommended that you start by understanding yourself. Click to enter the official free MBTI personality test of PsycTest Quiz to explore your personality structure, thinking patterns and intimate relationship style.
If you have completed the test, you may wish to refer to the MBTI Advanced Personality Profile . This advanced content is produced by PsycTest Quiz official website (psychtest.cn), providing more professional and in-depth personality analysis, helping you fully understand yourself and provide clear guides for life decisions.
Conclusion: The balance between rationality and romance comes from real self-cognition
In love, the so-called 'consensus is combined' is often not a complete recognition, but an ability to understand and respect each other's different spiritual needs. When we know who we are and what we need, it is easier to find the person who can truly resonate with us.
In the journey of life, you don’t have to be what others want, nor do you have to force others to be exactly the same as you. Instead, you must first figure out how you want to be understood and whether you can understand others.
Continue to pay attention to PsycTest Quiz official website (psychtest.cn). We will continue to publish professional content on MBTI testing, personality analysis, interpersonal psychology, and emotional growth to help you see yourself clearly, improve your relationships, and live out your independent and abundant personality power.
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